The Truth and the Consequences
by Marble Meadow
Summary: Bella changed when Edward left. The pain and memories continue to haunt her. Jacob imprints on Bella - but Edward isn't going to leave the picture without a fight. Its time for Bella to grow up. Evil Edward. Jake/Bella
1. Chapter 1

Author's note: I do not own Twilight and am not Stephanie Meyer (THANK GOD). I simply like playing with her creations. However, I must say that there are parts of Bella that I find insufferably annoying. Her selfishness, her willingness to forgive and forget, and her complete disregard for the feelings of those around her (like Charlie for instance) drives me up the fricking wall. I'm going to have some fun and shake things up a bit. Edward needs to pay for what he did to Bella, and Jacob deserves a break for everything that Bella put him through in the original series. Anywho, this takes place at the end of New Moon. Reviews are most graciously accepted. It feeds the muse. Oh yeah – this will be a Bella/Jacob pairing in the end so if you don't like that, you might want to leave right about now.

The Truth and the Consequences

Preface

_He stares at me from across the room, his hands clenched tightly to his sides. The tension in the lines of his body is as apparent as the rain lashing against the glass window. _

"_Tell me," he says quietly, bracing himself for the onslaught – the truth of what he has done to me by leaving. _

_It was no secret that I had suffered. He had seen the inside of Charlie's mind – had known that I was a shell of the person I'd been before. But he wanted to see inside my head and into my heart. He wanted to know what he had done to me. I didn't think I could really explain it. How do you tell someone what it was like to die inside? Is there an adequate enough description for shattering someone from the inside out? Taking away the last vestiges of self-esteem and burning it away into ashes? _

"_It won't help," I whisper, sitting down on the very edge of my bed with my hands resting on my knees. _

_His eyes flash to my face and away. "I need to know, Bella. Please."_

_I sigh, suddenly exhausted. We'd been having the same fight for several days now. It was like there was a boulder between us – a giant immovable object that prevented us from even talking normally. He was making it clear what he needed to understand before moving forward but I still hadn't figured out what I needed. _

_I closed my eyes and told him as much as I could remember. I told him about the days of hysterics, screaming and crying and the days of anger, when I hated myself and everyone else. I told him about the days of emptiness when I couldn't bring myself to get out of bed. I told him of the days when I had to pretend to be normal – at school, and at home for Charlie's sake – and how badly I'd failed at that. _

"_When you left – I was nothing. A broken, shattered, shadow of a person. Anything that reminded me of you had to be gone – and almost everything reminded me of you. I couldn't breathe without hurting and everyday seemed like another day in hell. I was drowning and I would have wasted away to nothing if Jake hadn't been there."_

_Edward held his eyes closed as I told him everything. _

"_Are we okay now?" I ask dully, knowing that I may have doomed our chances by telling the truth. _

_He doesn't say a word but opens the window and slides gracefully out. His face awash in shame is the last thing I see. _

_I look down at my body to be sure that the wound isn't actually real. I don't know why he made me relive what was the worst experience so far in my life. And it's the moments like this when I realize I'll never be the same girl again – the girl Edward fell in love with. I was forever altered and I didn't know if he could love me for who I am now. _

_I lay back and curl into a ball at the foot of my bed. The whole way home from Volterra I had been fooling myself – at least knowingly. But now, now when I know the extent of Edward's love, and his lies, I have been fooling myself even more. He can't make up for what he did. He can't fix it. I don't know that I'll ever be able to believe him again. Last year when I first met him, I was willing to follow wherever he led, willing to believe anything he said, and I trusted him with my heart. He lied, and he broke his promises, and he left me alone, thinking that I was nothing. _

_What's to keep him from lying now? The niggling little voice at the back of my head asks. _

_It's the times when I'm alone that I'm able to think the most clearly – to reason things out. It's too difficult when he's nearby - just the sight of him overpowers all my senses. Everything about him is mind boggling – and excruciatingly perfect. When faced with an angel such as that – who could resist? _

_But I need to be okay with moving on and I have to be able to forgive him, really forgive him. I can't fake it, and I can't lie to save my life. That's the only way we can have a relationship that even resembles what we had before. I'd give anything to go back, to the time before the stupid party and my stupid birthday and the stupid paper cut that changed the course of my life._

_I want to be angry at Jasper, angry at all of them for not being normal, but I can't. They are who they are and they are all wonderful in their own way. They did the best that they could and under the circumstances it was understandable. But Edward's reaction – his blowing it so far out of proportion – to the point of leaving me, that I don't understand. He even made Alice leave me – my best friend. _

_I wish Jacob was here now. _

_Inside I cringe at my own selfishness. Yes – I wish that Jacob would be here and hug me and tell me that it's all going to be okay and he still loves me enough to be my friend despite his sworn enemy stealing away the only chance he had at being with the girl he loves. Right. _

_Jake still hasn't returned any of my calls, not that I expected him to. I just wish that he would give me a chance to explain. If he were in my place, wouldn't he have done the same thing? Out of duty, out of justice, because it was the right thing to do despite the consequences? Would he have let someone die under a mistaken assumption?_

_I don't know the answer to that and it doesn't seem like I'm going to get the chance to find out either. _

_Everyone is home in Forks now – it should all be all right. Shouldn't it?_

_The boom of thunder is my only answer – that and the endless rain hitting the window._


	2. Chapter 2

Author's note: Thank you to all of the people who have reviewed the preface! I'm excited about this fic and I hope you all are too.

The Truth and the Consequences

Somehow I was actually able to steal a few precious hours of sleep before having to get up for school the next day. I took longer in the shower than was necessary, perhaps to avoid whatever was going to come. I knew it couldn't be good – not with the way Edward had looked last night.

Breakfast was a quiet affair – a bowl of Cheerios with a sliced banana. I grabbed my backpack at the bottom of the stairs and slung it over my shoulder. I grabbed my keys – just in case he wasn't waiting for me, and left the house, taking care to lock the door. Charlie didn't like it when I forgot.

As I suspected, there was no silver Volvo waiting for me. I felt a little nauseous, wondering what that could mean. The skies were overcast as usual and a light drizzle continued from the storm the night before. I hurried to get into the cab of my truck and turned on the heater right away. I stared for a moment at the gaping hole where the stereo should have been – a little reminder of why Edward had left all those months ago.

I eased my truck out of the driveway and took the long route to school. Almost everyone had arrived by the time I got there and I had to take a far away spot. I forced myself to not look for a Volvo as I walked up toward the Administration Building and continued on to my first period class. It was harder than it should have been.

Despite my best efforts I couldn't help but scan the classroom for Alice when I arrived. She waved at me from the back of the class and indicated that she'd saved me a seat. I hung my coat on a peg and walked over to sit next to her.

"Are you okay, Bella?" Alice asked, her brow furrowed in concern.

"Not really," I answered honestly.

Alice shook her head animatedly. "My brother is an idiot. I'm sorry he didn't drive you to school, he needed a little time."

"What a surprise," I murmured. "He could have at least told me that he wasn't coming."

Alice reached out and touched my shoulder, looking at me with somber eyes. "He was really, really upset Bella. He didn't realize what would happen when he left."

I flinched at the reminder. "But you did?"

Alice's eyebrow lifted half an inch in surprise. "I knew things wouldn't be good but I didn't realize how badly they would get. I'm not a mind reader you know. I didn't know how you were feeling. I saw you doing well in school, getting home early, spending a lot of time with your dad."

"If you saw all of that – later, then you must have seen what was going on, before."

She bit her lip and looked away, clearly guilty. "Yes, I saw you crying, and unable to sleep."

"And you never contacted me, not once. You were my best friend. _How could you leave me too?"_

"Oh, Bella. I'm so sorry. Edward wanted…"

I cut her off. "It's all about Edward, whatever he wants, is that it? You have to do what he says? That's crap, Alice."

"If I contacted you, he would have known about it and he would have been furious. Don't think I didn't try to talk him out of it because I did. I knew it was a mistake to leave."

I shake my head angrily. "What's the worst thing that could have happened, Alice? If you contacted me and he found out about it?"

She looked affronted. "He's my brother, Bella. He's family and we stick together. We have to."

"And I'm not." As I said the words I knew it was true. I wasn't family to them, no matter what they had said. I was just a human girl.

Alice looked like she wanted to say something but just then class started. She slipped me a note but I was mad and didn't bother reading it, just stuffed it in my pocket. Every time she tried to talk to me I ignored her. I knew I was being childish but I wanted her to know how upset I was.

Eventually she got the point and backed off. But that didn't stop her from throwing worried glances my way every few minutes.

After class I hurried off, not even bothering to get my coat.

My next two classes were Cullen free so I didn't have to worry. But then there was lunch.

And Alice was waiting for me.

She held out my coat which I took with murmured thanks. We went through the food line and I picked a few things randomly, not really noticing what I was getting. Alice steered me to an empty table.

"We have to talk," Alice said as she slid gracefully into the seat next to me.

I shrugged. "So talk."

"I want you to know something – really know it- we love you. We loved you so much that we left our lives behind because we thought in the long run it would be best for you. We had no idea that you would become friends with young werewolves or be going through what you were. All the same, I was wrong. I should have contacted you. I'm sorry, Bella. Sorry that I left. Sorry that I listened to my brother. And I'm sorry for what you went through while we were gone, and what you're going through now that we're back."

I sat quietly for a moment, trying to clear my head. She meant what she was saying, I knew that. She clasped my hand, trying to convey her sincerity. I felt my worries begin to slip away – allowing myself to bask in her presence. Her smell wafted up and around me, the sweetest smell in all the world, and I luxuriated in it. It was so familiar, so comforting. My anger melted away.

She smiled. "Are we okay?"

I smiled back, tentatively. "Yeah."

Alice quickly changed the subject and we talked about a bunch of different things. I didn't even have time to eat anything I bought before the bell rang.

"Oh! Bella, you didn't even get to eat lunch. I'm sorry."

"Oh yeah – the time just flew by. It's okay. I can save some of this for later."

I stuffed the unopened cupcake pack into my backpack along with the red apple. The sandwich however, was introduced to the Mr. Trashcan.

I walked to Chemistry in a much better mood. The rest of the day went by quickly and before I knew it I was walking toward my truck, keys in hand.

But then I stopped. My heart seemed to skip a beat.

"Jake?"

I ran over to him and threw my arms around him, so happy to see him. It took me a minute to realize he wasn't hugging me back, but was stiff as a board.

I stepped back gingerly, feeling like an idiot. I tucked my hair behind my ears.

"Hey," I said, not knowing what else to say.

"Is the bloodsucker here?"

I frowned. "No, Edward isn't here."

Jake snorted. "Figures. I come all the way up here and he isn't even here."

"Why do you need to talk to Edward?"

Jake looks at me coldly. "Business."

Oh.

Jake stares at me for a minute before relaxing his posture. "You okay?"

I shrug. I know that I can't lie to Jake.

"That bad, huh? Is it because of me?"

He looks almost hopeful.

I sidestep the question. "I've missed you – a lot. I've tried calling but no one answers."

He toes the ground, looking guilty. "Yeah – I know. I'm still kind of pissed off."

"I know and you have every right to be. I'm sorry I took off like that."

He looks surprised. "An apology? I didn't expect that."

"What were you expecting?"

"More excuses, I guess. 'Bout why you had to go, yadda yadda. You know I was worried sick, right? I was so afraid for you – you could have never come back."

I lean against him. "I know. I'm so sorry."

He wraps his arms around me. "Well, I wasn't ready to talk to you when you called."

"It's okay. I understand."

I feel myself relax for the first time in a long time. I ignore all the stares that we're getting. I can almost see the gossip mill churning but I don't care.

"This feels nice," I say. It's the first almost normal moment I've had in the last two weeks.

Jacob moves away and I immediately miss the heat that he had provided.

"I can't do this – pretend like everything is okay. I've gotta go. Take care, all right?"

I cross my arms over the imaginary wound in my chest as it throbs. "Okay."

He looks at me regretfully before hopping on his bike and taking off.

I drive home in a fog.

I spend the afternoon staring listlessly out the window and listening to maudlin emo songs. I luxuriate in the numbness that has taken me over. It's so much better than the alternative.

I must have been sitting there for a long time because I heard the Cruiser pull up. I jump out of the chair. I forgot to make dinner. I walk downstairs just as Charlie comes in. He hangs his holster and his jacket up.

"Hey Bells, you all right?"

I nod. "Yeah. I actually forgot to make dinner. I can heat up some leftovers if you don't mind having lasagna again?"

"That's fine. How was school?"

"The usual," I answer nonchalantly.

"Did you turn in all that homework you missed?" Charlie asks pointedly.

I grimace. "Yes, dad. I told you I got everything in on Friday, remember?"

Charlie grabs a beer from the fridge. "Just checking."

He sits at the table while I put a few lasagna squares on a plate for him and pop it into the microwave.

"So – are the Cullen's back for good?" He asks tentatively, as if he was afraid of the answer.

"Yeah, far as I know," I answer honestly. No joy seems to be forthcoming inside, and I'm surprised by my own lack of enthusiasm.

"I don't like it," Charlie says gruffly.

I don't respond but the microwave dings and I pull the plate out, setting it on the table.

I'm not sure I like it either.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's note: I know that this scene is a bit theatrical – you'll have to forgive me.

The Truth and the Consequences

I stared at my backpack. There were two assignments tonight, one in math, one in English. I groaned. I really wasn't in any kind of doing school work mood. My brain ping ponged between worrying about Jake and worrying about Edward.

My phone buzzed. I looked over at it and saw that I had a text. I opened the phone and read it. It was Edward.

_I'm sorry. Can I come over tonight?_

I paused before typing in y-e-s and hitting send.

I put the phone down and walked over to my bed. I plopped down, hugging my stuffed rabbit against my chest. For so many nights it had been my only companion.

"At least you will never leave me," I mumbled.

I must have drifted off because I woke to the scent of beautiful perfume. I sat up.

Edward knelt next to my bed, his eyes appraising me carefully.

I felt disoriented and a little grumpy. I yawned, stretching out my shoulders before tucking my hair behind my ears.

"Bella – if you want to sleep, this can wait," he said quietly.

I shook my head. "No. It's waited long enough."

"May I?" he asked, indicating the bed.

I moved over a few feet and he sat next to me. He took my hand between his. I suppressed a shiver – he was as cold as ever.

"What I have done to you, Isabella is unforgiveable. I know this. I caused you more pain, emotionally than I can comprehend. I left you behind with no method of contacting me, in case of emergency. I left you to the world, knowing how vulnerable you are, how accident prone you are. I left you to the wolves, the young, vile, inexperienced wolves that could have killed you at any moment. And despite all of that – you came to Volterra to rescue me. You risked everything, your very life, for me. And as a result, your life is in even more danger than before. The Volturi know of you and have given you an ultimatum. In the end – if we cannot hide you well enough, you will forfeit your existence for life eternal and become as cold, as dead, as much of a monster as I am. I wish I could go back to the beginning, to when I first saw you, and force myself to leave you alone. It would have been better than this."

I watched him carefully through his undoubtedly well prepared speech. He meant it – every word.

"Bella, my Bella – I don't deserve to be in your presence. I'm a monster. I have brought such pain, such sadness to your life. But I promise you this – I will spend the rest of eternity trying to make it up to you. I will do anything you ask of me – anything within my power to make you happy. Just name it, my love."

I forced myself to speak. "Is that supposed to make it all better? Don't you know me at all? I would have risked my life for _anyone_ that I know and love, gladly, and pay the consequences. You say that you wish you had stayed away from me from the beginning – is that your way of saying you should have let the van hit me? And if I had survived that, you would have let those men in the alley have me?"

"Gods – Bella, no. That isn't what I meant at all. I would have saved you - I had to save you."

"Why, exactly? Why'd you do it, Edward, really? Because I have a theory about that. I think that you were fascinated with me, drawn to me, because I was the first person you couldn't read. You had no way of knowing what I was thinking. I was like a shiny new toy."

Edward glared at me, his jaw tight. "That is ridiculous. Do you have any idea how hard it was not to take you?"

"To kill me? That's supposed to make me feel better? The fact that you were able to abstain from drinking my blood and ending my life?"

Edward leapt up from the bed and began pacing the room. "You have no idea what I've gone through, Bella, just to be close to you. What torment it is to be near you. The fire in my throat is all consuming but I bear it because I love you. Because you are worth it. Don't you dare tell me that I haven't suffered as well. Leaving you was the hardest thing I've ever done – harder even than being close to you. I was in hell the entire time I was away. All the color bled out of the world when you weren't in it anymore. I may have left but my heart did nothing but yearn for you every second I was away."

Anger coursed through my body as tears stained my cheeks. I was shaking. "But you had a choice, Edward. You made the choice to leave. You lied to me to make it easier to leave."

"You wouldn't have let me go if I hadn't lied, Bella!"

My voice rose an octave. "You didn't give me a chance! You didn't give me a choice! You thought you knew what was best for me but you were dead wrong! At least if you had explained it to me – made me understand why – I wouldn't have felt the way that I did."

"You wouldn't have understood. You can say that now but you'd be wrong. It was the only way you would have let me walk away. I knew I had hurt you – deeply. Is that what you mean? You felt abandoned?"

"I felt like I was nothing! Like I was worthless. I felt the way I did back home, like an outsider, like a freak, but so much worse. I wanted to die. I wandered off into the forest and I wanted to die."

He looked at me, his hand outstretched, his face a mask of agony. "Bella."

"Just go. I mean it. Get out," I told him unsteadily, my lip quivering.

"You don't mean that," he whispered, his voice a silken plea.

"Get out! Get out! Get out!" I shrieked, finally reaching my breaking point.

Edward looked startled but did as I requested. I closed my eyes for a second and when I looked up, he was gone.

Charlie pounded on my door. "Bells? What's wrong?"

I got out of bed and opened the door.

Charlie took one look at me before pulling me into a hug. "What happened, baby?"

"Nightmare," I whispered. Chills raced up and down my body.

He stroked the top of my head. "It's okay. Daddy's here now."

For once, I let Charlie hold me. He took me back to bed and tucked me in, the same as when I was little. He must have noticed how cold I was so he shut the window. It made me feel a little better. He turned off the light and left my door ajar, telling me to call if I needed him.

I burrowed under the covers as the tears came again. I wept silently, feeling awful about what I'd said, and feeling even worse because I had told the truth. I wasn't entirely sure, but I think he now understood what he had done to me. I just didn't know what revealing that would do to him in kind. I felt like a terrible person, and more worthless than ever. My emotions were making me crazy. Sleep was elusive. After awhile, I felt thirsty.

I slid out of bed and snuck downstairs to the kitchen. I took a glass out of the cupboard and filled it with tap water. I drank between the hiccups and wiped my nose on a paper towel feeling like a snot monster.

That's when I saw it lying there. It was on the cutting board, at an angle. The juice of a sliced tomato was all around it. The pulp looked like blood against the white soapstone. I picked the knife up and watched a drop of tomato juice run down the edge of the blade.

Everything in the world came down to blood – my blood, my life. Jake's destiny had been decided by his blood. Edward had no blood of his own but needed blood to live, as did his family, and others of his kind. Feeling daring, I let the blade rest against my wrist for a second. It would be so easy. I had such thin skin.

But then the reality hit home. I wrinkled my nose in disgust. I couldn't stand the sight of it. Just thinking about it made me nauseous. I rinsed the knife and the cutting board in the sink and walked back upstairs.

I put myself to bed. That night, I dreamt that I was drowning in blood.


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Note: I will be updating more frequently for the foreseeable future! Yay! I hope you're enjoying this story. Please review if you are. It really motivates me to continue writing.

~.~

I didn't want to go to school. I felt feverish and awful and I just didn't want to go.

I picked up the phone and called Charlie – telling him I wasn't feeling good and wanted to stay home. He told me to relax and that he'd call the school.

I tried to go back to sleep but it was impossible. The steady thrum of rain beating against the roof was far too loud.

I got up, feeling restless. I took my cell phone off the charger and scrolled through my contacts, not really looking for anything in particular. But when I saw _his_ name I changed my mind.

I called his house – Billy answered.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Billy. Is Jake around?"

A pause. "He's at school. You want to leave a message?"

"Oh – no. That's okay."

"All right, Bella. Goodbye."

It was over in a few seconds. I sighed, feeling depressed.

I dropped the phone on my nightstand and looked at the clock – I should have been in class fifteen minutes ago. I felt strangely guilty.

"Bella?"

His quiet voice made me jump. I turned around, my hand on my chest. "Jesus! You scared me!"

He looked at me, worried. "My apologies. I wanted to check on you. Alice said that you weren't coming to school today. I hope it's not because of our argument last night."

I toed the carpet in lieu of answering.

"You used to be happy to see me," he said quietly, "now you stay home from school to avoid me. Things have really changed."

I nod in agreement and sit on the edge of my bed with my hands folded in my lap. "Everything is different now. I'm different."

"And I'm frozen," he said, quiet as a whisper. He looks over at me, a sad smile on his face.

"You're still Bella Swan – the girl I love. That will not change. It doesn't, for us, you know."

I wrinkle my forehead, confused. "What doesn't change?"

"Who we love, who we're bonded with. Its eternal. I will love no one else the way that I love you – until I cease to exist."

What once would have delighted me now fills me with dread. "So if things didn't work out, with us…"

" I would still be at your beck and call. There's nothing you could do to make me not love you," he smiles sadly. "That's why it's so rare for one of us to fall in love with a human. You're in a perpetual state of motion, of change. You are like a butterfly. You grow, mature, blossom, and fade away on a whisper of wings. It's a constant process and you're here for such a short time. It's a risk, a terrible risk, to allow ourselves to feel for you, but I was lost when you told me you loved me in your sleep – utterly lost. I told you that you were my life, and you are, now and always."

"Then why would you leave me, if I'm everything to you?"

"Because I was a total fool. I wanted you to grow, to become a woman, to really live. You deserve that. I don't think you grasp how special life can be. How every moment is lost the second it is experienced."

"And I don't think you understand how painful life can be, how every living second can seem to last an eternity," I respond thinking of how I felt when he was away.

"We each see through our own lens. You cannot comprehend what I've seen all this time that I've been alive – and I can't really understand how you feel, being human, because I've forgotten what that was like. But regardless of our many, many differences, we found one another. Don't you think what we have is special?"

I nod, almost unwillingly. "Yes."

"You would cut me out of your life? Just like that? Knowing that I am bound to you?"

I sigh. "I'm not cutting you out."

He kneels before me and grasps my hands. "Then let me in, Bella."

His eyes smolder a moment before his lips capture mine and I bite back a protest as the icy fire of his passion engulfs me. His tongue darts into my mouth and I gasp, surprised. His hands are in my hair, on my shoulders, gliding down my arms, feather soft and I can only breathe through him. Somehow, we've moved and I feel myself sinking into the mattress, his marble body atop of mine. He tears his lips away and I look into his coal black eyes, frenzied and full of passion, with fascination and fear. He's moved his lips down, past the erratic pulse point in my throat, between my breasts, down the plane of my stomach. And then, he moves into dangerous territory, sliding his hands up my bare legs, lifting the fabric of my nightdress, and then sliding down, hooking my underwear, tugging them down below my knees.

I know this shouldn't be happening, not like this, but I'm powerless to stop him as he dips his head and breathes me in and I feel his mouth on my sex for the first time. I arch into him, a crazy cry as his tongue delves into me, and its cold, so cold, but it's only making me hotter. I can't help it but my hands grab the back of his head and I beg him, incoherently. I don't know what I want, or what to do but I suddenly don't want him to stop. It's like being on a rollercoaster and you feel yourself being lifted higher into the air, and the oxygen seems to get thin, and then you scream as it tips forward and you crash down with a thunderous rush.

My moaning cries slow as he drags himself away to sit at the end of my bed. He's breathing raggedly, though I know he doesn't need the air.

"Gods," he whispers as he runs his hands through his rumpled hair.

I close my legs, feeling a flush of embarrassment now that sense has returned. I pull my nightgown down and wait for him to say something.

At long last he turns to look at me. "I'm sorry, Bella. I shouldn't have…"

I stare at him incredulously. "Why not? It was amazing. And everything is okay now." I was still alive as far as I knew - more alive than ever, actually. Before he'd left I'd imagined being intimate with him in a million different ways and one of my fantasies had actually come true. I never thought anything like that could happen with our differences. I want him to be as excited as I am – as happy, even for just this moment. But I knew it wasn't going to be that easy – with him, nothing ever is.

"Bella, it was far better than I could have imagined but it was indecent of me to take advantage of you like that. I'm so ashamed of myself."

"Don't you get it?" I ask, exasperated. "I'm not some proper lady from the early 1900's. Things are different in this day and age. I didn't ask you to stop. Can't you ever just enjoy the moment?"

He looks shocked. He opens his mouth but closes it.

I can't believe he's speechless at a time like this. "Really, Edward?"

He looks lost. "You've wanted me to do that?"

"And a hell of a lot more. Duh."

"But its so dangerous, Bella – you've no idea how much!"

"Yeah but you handled it fine. You didn't kill me."

"But I could have. I was so foolish – so impulsive. Damn it, Bella. I can't think straight around you!"

The afterglow fades quickly and my irritation returns with a vengeance. "You seriously could win an Oscar for angst."

I jump out of bed and grab my bag of toiletries.

"Where are you going?"

I hold up the bag. "To take a shower – a hot one. It's gotten a little cold in here."

I walk into the bathroom and close the door a little harder than necessary. I just don't know how to feel about anything. Am I supposed to be guilty? What did I do wrong?

I step into the shower, letting the stinging water rush over me. I can't ever seem to win. If he would only allow himself to be a little more human, or at least try and see things from my perspective once in awhile!

We truly are from two different worlds. Perhaps this is what happens when two stars collide. They just destroy each other.


	5. Chapter 5

Author's note: Please review! It makes me write so much faster!

~.~

I spent a good deal of time in the shower before finally sighing and giving up. If he was going to leave he probably would be gone by now.

Of course he wasn't.

He was sitting in my rocking chair, staring at me with those butterscotch eyes of his. His legs were crossed, his hands resting lightly on the worn wood. He never took his eyes off of me but watched as I placed my things on the dresser and brushed my hair. I tied my hair up and secured it with a clip before turning to face him.

We stared at one another. It was like I was seeing him for the first time. Framed by the light of the window, he looked more godlike than a Michaelangelo statue. But he was no statue – no, he was a predator, a vampire, and though he looked human, he wasn't anymore. His perfection was excruciating and yet only skin deep. His flaws ran beneath the surface, hidden to most but painfully obvious to me now. He had control issues and I just wasn't sure I could get over that.

Finally, after a moment that seemed to last an eternity, he spoke. "You're not the same person and I've been treating you as if you are. I see that now."

"And I can see beyond what I did before," I felt compelled to add.

He nodded in agreement. "I told you a long time ago what I am, Bella. Have you forgotten?"

I shook my head. "No. I didn't believe you then."

He smiled sadly. "But you do now. You know what I am. Tell me, can you love a monster?"

"I don't know," I said quietly. My heart sped up, and a strange ache settled in my throat. To my utter humiliation, tears pricked the corners of my eyes. I'd never really thought of him as being a monster – only the guy that broke my heart.

He crossed the room and cradled my face in his hands. "We've made a terrible mess of things, haven't we? We're together again, at last, but I've never felt so far away from you. We can't pretend that things are the same because they're not. But I refuse to just let things stand as they are now. You don't deserve misery, not on my account. All I can do, at this time, is be here. I will give you anything I can."

"Can we just be friends right now?" I ask. It's the only thing I can think of. We need time. I need time.

He takes a step back from me, letting his arms fall. I can see the agony in his eyes before he closes them and takes a deep breath. "I will be whatever you need me to be, Bella. I will be your friend."

"Boundaries," I add before I lose my nerve.

He nods with grim determination. "I will abide by your boundaries if you tell me what they are."

I wasn't exactly sure what the boundaries should be – I only knew that we really needed them if there was any chance of a future. "To be determined?"

"Very well," he said quietly, "let me know when you've decided. Do you wish to be alone now?"

I suck in a breath of air. "I think that would be best."

Edward lifted his hand as though to brush my cheek but stopped himself just in time. "Sorry – old habits die hard. I shall see you at school then, Bella, unless you wish to see me sooner. You have my number."

He moved at human pace to the window and with a last sorrowful look at me jumped out into the rain.

I sat down on the bed in a state of shock.

I just dumped Edward Cullen.

Not knowing what else to do I grab my old diary and flip to a clean page.

_What is love but a reason to open yourself to someone so they can take up residence in your heart and then when they feel like it, they can vacate their spot and leave a gaping hole? The funny thing about having a hole in your heart is that eventually it begins to heal It has to – in order to function. Of course, it doesn't heal perfectly, but leaves scar tissue behind. Nothing ever will fit in that space perfectly again. It's ruined forever._

_How do people move on from such a tragedy? _

_I broke up with Edward – not that we were officially back together anyway. We'd just resumed our old positions, orbiting around one another. I know that I'm hurting him – but it isn't as though I'm doing what he did. I'm not pushing him out of my life completely. _

_I'm just taking some time for myself. Is that wrong?_

I set my pen down and let the diary close on its own. I decide that my bed looks inviting. I snuggle down under the covers and hug my pillow. I close my eyes.

A shrill ring jostles me from sleep. I feel strange and disoriented, my mouth is fuzzy and dry. I answer the phone groggily.

"Hello?"

"Bella? Are you okay? My dad said you called this morning."

I can't stop the automatic smile. "Jake. It's so good to hear your voice."

A sigh. "Well, it's good to hear yours too. That doesn't answer my question though – are you okay?"

I don't even bother to censor myself. "I don't know anymore. I slept all afternoon."

"You sound depressed, honey. Is Charlie home?"

"No – he's at work. Don't worry, it's not the end of the world."

"What isn't?"

I bite my lip. "Edward and I are just friends."

Jake snorts. "Did you seriously call me because you're having problems with your _boyfriend_?"

"He's not my boyfriend," I protest, "not anymore."

"Did that bastard hurt you again? After everything you've gone through because of him! You flew all the way to Europe for his pale ass and he has the nerve to…"

"Whoa! Jake – calm down. He didn't do anything. I just, sort of, broke up with him."

Silence.

"Jake?"

Breathing.

"Jacob?"

"You broke up with him?"

"Yes."

I can hear the smile in his voice. "Good for you, honey. I mean – you know, it's, um probably for the best."

I cringe at his gleeful tone. "I told him we should be friends."

Jake coughs. "Friends? With a leech? Bells you know he isn't good for you. I mean, you broke up with him so obviously you know that."

"I can't just kick him out of my life."

A pause. "Well – at least you've made the first step. We're having dinner tonight over at Emily's. You should come."

I'm stunned. I can't believe Jacob is inviting me. "Of course, I'd love to."

"Okay, we'll meet me at my house and ride over together."

"Are you sure it's okay to invite me?" I ask nervously thinking of Sam and the pack.

"Don't know but it doesn't matter cuz I've already invited you. I'll see you around six?"

I hurry to accept. We hang up.

I feel so relieved. I wonder if this means he's no longer mad at me.


	6. Chapter 6

I arrive a few minutes before six. I look down at my faded jeans and hoodie, hoping I'm dressed appropriately. I see that the garage light is on so I pull over and get out of the truck, shutting the door behind me.

Jake meets me at the side door to the garage, covered in motor oil.

I gape at him. "What happened?"

Jake grimaces. "Stupid leak in the stupid engine. I had to take the damn thing apart to find it."

"Oh. Are we still going to Emily's?"

He grins. "Yeah as long as you're up for it. Feeling brave?"

I punch him in the arm. "I think I'll manage."

He holds up his hands in surrender, chuckling. "That's my girl."

I follow him up to the house warily, nervous about seeing Billy.

"I'm going to hop in the shower really quick and then we can go. You can turn the TV on if you want."

"Where's your dad?" I ask looking around the darkened cabin.

"He's over at the Clearwater's with Sue."

I nod and then walk over to the couch and perch on the edge.

Jake stalks off to the bathroom, a towel in his hand.

I listen to the running water and the shower door closing before I let myself relax.

I let my eyes drift around the room. I look at the photos over the mantle. I see Jake as a young child holding his sister's hand, and another picture of him gathering shells at the beach. I see school pictures from 1st grade through last year. In every single picture he's smiling as if he has no cares in the whole world. He has the most beautiful smile I've ever seen. I miss his long hair. I miss my sunshine.

"Tell me you are not looking at my geeky photos," Jacob steps up behind me smelling like pine soap.

"Well, there wasn't a whole lot else to do," I explain, hiding my blush.

"Uh huh. Well, we're already a half hour late. I don't want to miss all the good grub."

"Heaven forbid," I fake grumble.

We leave the house and climb into my truck. I know the Rabbit's out of commission pending further repairs.

"Ah, just like old times," Jake exclaims rubbing his hand over the dash.

"I thought you wanted to get rid of this?"

"Oh, I did. But nostalgia ya know. Spent a lot of time in this old truck. She's safe, you know."

I glance at him. "Well I know they don't make em like they used to but what do you mean?"

"She's a safe ride for you."

"Oh – so I'm supposed to believe that you got Charlie to buy this thing because it was safe for me?"

"No – but I'm glad you have it now. I trust her. She'd do all right in a crash – not that I'd ever want you to have one you know."

"Uh huh. I think your blood sugar is low, Jake. Better get you to Emily's."

I turn my car on and back out of the drive carefully before turning and getting on the main road. It's a short drive to Emily's. I pull into the drive and admire the small cottage. It has gorgeous yellow flowers on either side of the dirt path that leads up to the front steps. A cozy glow comes from the open screen door and the sounds of friends eating dinner and laughter carries through the night. It's picture perfect.

Jake hops out of the truck and I follow suit. I let him walk into the house first.

A chorus of greeting meets him followed by an abrupt and awkward silence when he steps out of the way and they see me.

Emily looks around at everyone and then hurries over to greet me. "Bella. What a nice surprise."

She leads me into the kitchen as furious whispers erupt behind us. I try and ignore them.

"What can I get you to drink? I have lemonade, iced tea, soda or water."

"Lemonade sounds good, thanks," I say shyly.

She pours me a glass of what looks like homemade lemonade on ice, the good kind with floating pulp in it.

"Let me dish you up a plate before Jake gets in here and eats everything that's left."

I can't help but giggle.

She loads a plate with food and carries it over to the small eat in kitchen table. There's a mason jar with a pink daisy sitting in the middle of the table. I'm struck with something like envy. How is it that every little detail is so simple, yet so perfect?

I murmur my thanks as she sets down a piping plate of food in front of me. Emily grabs a fork and hands it to me. I dig in – there truly is nothing like her cooking. I've only eaten here a scant handful of times but each time has been a treat. I need to ask her to write down some of her recipes so I can make some of this for Charlie.

Jake walks into the kitchen with a scowl on his face but he looks pretty happy that there's food left. Emily chastises him when he tries to fit more mashed potatoes on his plate than the plate can hold.

"You know there are pulled pork sandwiches too – right? And strawberry shortcake for dessert. Don't fill up on potatoes!"

Jake gives Emily a lifted eyebrow. "I don't fill up – ever."

Emily shakes her head and shoos him toward me. Jake plops down his overflowing plate and I grimace.

"Don't give me that look, Bells."

"You're disgusting," I say as he shovels a huge forkful of potatoes into his mouth.

"And so proud of it," he says before taking another massive bite.

I hear snickering behind me and I turn to look out into the living room. Everyone seems amused except for Leah. She's staring daggers at me. I turn around and look back at Jake-the-garbage-disposal instead.

"Dessert's ready!" Emily calls out into the living room.

A manly stampede ensues and her warm kitchen is suddenly full of huge jostling bodies. I manage to save my lemonade when the table is bumped – a miracle in and of itself.

Over the din of voices and exclamations and good natured ribbing, I hear Emily trying to keep order. Somehow she manages to get everyone settled and out of the kitchen in a few minutes.

"Oh my God, Emily," Paul groans appreciatively. "This is so good."

"Do you have any more?" Quil asks, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Jacob managed to snag a plate of dessert before the guys had decimated it all, but he was now working on two pulled pork sandwiches.

I watched Jake with amusement.

Emily came over and whispered in my ear. "I saved you a piece – back of the fridge behind the milk."

I thanked her and watched her as she walked over to Sam and sat on his lap. Sam wrapped his arm around her and kissed her cheek with an adoring look in his eyes. They always looked so happy – it made my eyes sting a little.

Leah crossed her arms. "So – are we starting the meeting or what?"

Several pairs of eyes glanced my way.

"We'll talk later," Sam said casually.

"Because of her?" Leah asked with a nasty look on her face pointed at me. "Why'd you bring your skinny pale ass vampire lover girlfriend over here, Jake? Tonight's supposed to be official business."

"Shut up," Jake growled at her, setting his fork down with a bang.

"Give it a rest, Leah, geez," Seth said, giving me an apologetic look.

"Bella is welcome here," Emily said quietly.

"Why?" Leah turned and asked Emily. "We don't need an enemy spy in our ranks. I mean, how stupid is that? Wake up, losers!"

"Enough, Leah." Sam said with authority ringing in his voice.

Leah shut her mouth but looked mutinous.

The peace and happiness I'd been experiencing vanished. The room was filled with tension. I wanted badly to leave.

"Maybe I should, uh, go," I whispered to Jake, fingering the car keys in my pocket.

"No honey, stay. It's all right, really."

Jake placed his hand on my knee. The heat of his hand burned through my jeans and warmed my skin instantly. I bit back a gasp. I still wasn't used to his body temperature.

Jake cracked a grin. "I've still got it."

I smack him in the chest. "You wish."

And just like that I felt better. He always seemed to know what to do. A half hour later, after I'd eaten Emily's amazing strawberry shortcake, Jake walked me out to my truck to say goodbye. They were going to have their official meeting once I left so I didn't want to linger too long, even though I was having a good time.

"Listen, Bells. Before you leave, I just want to say that I'm sorry for everything, for being an ass. I've really missed not having you around."

"I'm sorry too. I know how hard it was when I left like that."

He brushed my face. "No – you don't. But I forgive you. I'm so happy that you're home and you're safe – and that you've finally come to your senses about that leech."

I stepped backwards involuntarily. "Is that the only reason you're forgiving me? Because I broke up with him?"

"Not the only reason, but one of them. He's not good for you. The idea that he was going to come back and you were just going to forgive him and act like none of it ever happened was sickening to me. You were a wreck when he left. I remember how you were before, and how you were after. Bella – I'd never been so scared in all my life. I was afraid Charlie was going to have you sent to a mental hospital or something. You don't deserve that. I won't let him hurt you like that again, I swear it."

He stepped forward and rested his forehead against mine. It was blazing hot.

"Look – I know that things aren't exactly going great between us right now, but I want that to change. I want to spend more time with you. I want to show you how it can be – how it should be. I want you to give me a chance, Bella."

"A chance at what?" I whisper, knowing the answer before I even asked the question.

"At being the man that you deserve. At being here for you. Trust me to show you how love can be when it's not manipulative, when it's not tainted by blood sucking leeches. You know I love you, honey."

I lick my lips. "Jacob – you know how I feel. You're my best friend. I don't want to ruin that."

He sighs. "You keep telling yourself that but I know that I mean more to you than that. Look deeper inside yourself. Don't be afraid. I won't hurt you like he did."

I look up at Jacob, into his shining dark eyes, and his beautiful face. I try to imagine being closer with him, letting his lips touch mine. But when I try to imagine that, all I can see is pale skin and golden eyes instead.

My chest aches. I want so badly to give Jacob what he wants – what he's clearly wanted for a very long time, but I don't think I can.

A tear rolls down my cheek.

"Oh, honey. I didn't mean to make you cry. Look, you're fragile right now – you probably need some time. I'm sorry I'm pushing. Just forget what I said, okay? Best friends?"

I nod happily, slipping back into safe and familiar territory.

"Drive safe, Bells."

I climb into my truck and watch as he walks back inside.


	7. Chapter 7

Author's note: This is just a short chapter for now – hopefully a longer one soon! Thank you very much to those of you who have reviewed. Also – this story was mentioned in a podcast last night! That is so super cool!

~.~

I drive away from Emily's with a knot in my stomach. Everything was so perfect until he'd mentioned – _things_. I couldn't even let myself think the four letter "L" word.

Was I immature? Yes, and I knew it. Everything was just so complicated and I felt overwhelmed.

I was so lost in my daydream that I almost hit him.

I slammed on the brakes and the truck shuddered to a stop, half off the highway.

"Shit," I breathed as I clutched my head. The steering wheel hadn't felt too great.

Before I could open the door, it was opened and I was enveloped in a freezing hug.

"Bella! Are you okay?"

"Edward! What the fuck are you doing standing in the middle of the road?"

"I'm sorry, sweetheart. I couldn't cross the line into their territory without breaking the treaty. I was worried sick when Alice informed me that you were going to the Reservation. What were you thinking, going down there?"

He gently touched my face, eyes scanning me for injuries, apparently.

I was furious. "First – I can go where I want to go. Second – you don't need to be my babysitter. Third – you never answered my question! Why the FUCK were you standing there like a weirdo in the middle of the road? Why weren't you in your car or something?" 

He shrugged. "I ran here. I didn't bring my car."

I move his hands off of my face. "I'm fine. Jesus. I almost hit you!"

He gave me a cocky smile. "No, you wouldn't have, and even if I'd been too stupid to move out of the way, I wouldn't have been hurt. You know that."

"Yeah, well, good for you. Meanwhile, you scare the shit out of me and almost make me get in an accident. Thanks a lot."

I glare at him, making sure he gets the message.

He looks down and away, apparently ashamed. "I'm sorry. I thought you would have seen me."

I point at my chest. "Human, remember? It's dark out here."

"It won't happen again. Are you heading home?"

I nod.

"I can drive you and then walk home."

"I can drive myself," I tell him.

He opens his mouth to respond, then closes it, and nods. "You're right. Do you mind if I ride along?"

Truthfully I did mind, but I didn't want to seem like a complete bitch. "Fine."

In a flash he's seated next to me. I close my door and readjust my seatbelt before driving off.

Edward sits like a statue next to me, but I feel his eyes on me. I refuse to say anything though – I'm too pissed.

A tense twenty minutes later and I pull into the driveway of my house. I cut the engine.

The cruiser is parked on the street and the lights are on inside.

I get out of the truck and Edward follows suit.

I face him. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, my Bella."

I shake my head, not believing he has the audacity to pretend like everything is fine. I leave him standing in my driveway.

Being home never felt better.

As soon as I cross the threshold of the house, Charlie pounces.

"Where were you?"

"I went and had dinner with some friends. I guess I forgot to leave a note."

Charlie lifts his eyebrow. "That's not like you. Hmph. Well, at least you're home safe. Who did you say you went out with?"

"Friends," I say, being vague.

"Uh huh. Well next time, leave a note or call me if you're going somewhere. You know I don't like it when you just disappear."

I immediately feel guilty. It hasn't been that long since I took off for Italy for three days without letting him know. "I'm sorry, dad. I'll do better next time, I promise."

Charlie takes a swig of his beer. "All right. There's a pie in the kitchen if you want some – pepperoni."

I wince, feeling doubly guilty.

"I thought you liked Pepperoni?" Charlie says, clearly baffled by my reaction.

"Oh – no it's not that. It's just that I was planning on cooking dinner for you tonight and I forgot, again."

He waves his hand. "You baby me too much. I know how to feed myself, kiddo."

I nod, not wanting to start a fight. Personally, I don't think a pizza and beer diet is all that great. Ever since Harry died, I've been worried about Charlie's eating habits. I really needed to make a better effort to cook healthy meals. I don't want to lose him.

Charlie goes back to the living room and I head upstairs. My bed looks very inviting but I know homework is due. With a sigh, I pull out my books.

A few hours later, I fill in the last answer to the last math problem. I close the book happily and put everything away in my backpack for tomorrow.

I pull off my clothes and don my favorite holey sweats and t-shirt. I crawl into bed with a Jane Austin novel in my hand.

I soon forget my troubles as I fall into the story. I'm just getting to the good part when I realize that the words are blurring on the page. I reluctantly put the novel aside and turn off the light, falling asleep easily.


	8. Chapter 8

The next morning dawns bright and new and I sigh happily because it is the weekend. No school to worry about – no Cullen's.

For once it isn't raining and I open my window with exuberance. A rush of cold air sweeps past me and into the warmth of my room. For all that there is a patchy sky with hints of blue, the air is still chilly.

I do my usual Saturday morning routine, sugary cereal with cartoons, followed by a hot shower. I'm content to stand and soak in the damp steam that has gathered and I draw silly pictures on the fogged up mirror. I take my time brushing and flossing my teeth before applying my favorite deodorant and a spritz of Bath and Body Work's newest body spray Dark Kiss, courtesy of Renee. She'd bought it for herself but didn't end up liking it and had sent it (along with several other lotions and sprays that apparently didn't work out) in a giant box with a variety of other odd things. There were crochet hooks and a variety of yarns (some very soft) and some books on how to do it. There was a plethora of scrapbooking supplies and some half painted miniature wooden boxes that sort of resembled very rough jewelry boxes. Surprisingly enough, there was a Paint by Numbers that featured a wolf (_I am totally giving that to Jacob_) and an assortment of calligraphy pens.

I could tell that she had been going through hobbies as fast as ever and I had put most of it into my closet next to another box of things she'd sent two months ago. However, I'd kept a roll of beautiful brown yarn out, with a crochet hook and a beginner's book and placed them on my rocking chair. I figured it would give me something to do today while Charlie was at work.

I sat down in the chair and began looking at the book. There were pictures that showed exactly what to do – I couldn't really follow along with the words very well. I copied the book and before I knew it I had a three foot long "chain" of yarn. It wasn't the most beautiful thing in the world. Some of the loops were large and misshapen and others clearly too tight, but it was kind of cool.

I continued practicing well into the morning until my fingers ached. With a sigh I gave up on my "rope" and rolled it up around the remaining yarn. It still hadn't rained though the sky now looked threatening. I decided I'd go ahead and make a trip to the grocery store before the weather changed.

I took some money from the grocery envelope and took a quick inventory of the fridge and pantry before I left. I climbed into my truck without really looking and something stabbed my butt.

"Ouch!"

I lifted myself up with annoyance and pulled out a single long-stemmed rose.

I was simultaneously flattered and irritated. I took a deep sniff of the flower and let the scent of the rose engulf me. It was a beautiful scent – reminded me of my grandmother.

I placed it on the passenger's seat and pulled on my seatbelt before starting the engine. As I waited for the engine to warm up I thought about who could have left it. The answer was obvious – at least, I thought it was. I frowned. It really could be one of two people…

But why would Jacob come all the way up here just to leave a flower – especially something as cliché as a rose? If Jacob were to leave a flower – I imagined it would probably be a wildflower – something he'd picked himself, and not from a florist's shop as this one most clearly was. Although if it was a wildflower… that could be from Edward. The meadow was full of them – but that really wasn't his style.

I look over at the rose forlornly and decide I'd just ignore it. As beautiful as it was, it wasn't worth driving myself crazy over. And who knows – maybe Charlie left it?

I shrug before driving over to the store, determined to do the shopping before the rain hits. I decide to be a little creative and pick up some fresh veggies, a variety of fruits, and fresh herbs. I decide to forget the beef and choose turkey and chicken instead. The usual white bread I replace with whole wheat and I deliberately forget to pick up Charlie's usual snack foods. I know this is going to irritate him but I'm sure I can get him to acquiesce, especially since one of his best friends just died of a heart-attack.

I load up on healthy items and grimace when I reach for the soy milk. We'll both just have to deal with it.

I walk up to the cashier and nervously watch as the total creeps ever higher. It soon climbs past what I have in my wallet – the healthier choices are a little more expensive. I feel so embarrassed trying to pick through the groceries and figure out what to leave behind.

"Here," a musical voice says behind me and lays a hundred dollar bill down on the counter. Before I can protest the cashier has taken it and placed it in the cash register.

I turn around, beet red, and see Edward, Alice, and Jasper standing there with a few grocery bags.

I don't even know what to say to them. Why they are buying human food I can't imagine.

"We'll help you with your bags, Bella."

They each grab a bag and I'm left carrying the eggs.

"Thanks," I mutter insincerely.

I fumble with the keys to unlock the truck and drop them – of course.

Edward picks them up and unlocks the door in the blink of an eye. They each unload their bags.

"We'll, um, give you a minute alone," Alice says, practically dragging Jasper away.

I tuck my hair behind my ears and look up at Edward. "You didn't have to pay – I'll pay you back on Monday."

He waved his hand as if it was nothing. "It's fine. So, how are you doing?"

I cross my arms in front of me, willing myself to be strong. "Fine. Just getting some shopping done before it rains. _What are you doing here_?"

He looks surprised. "Keeping up appearances, of course. If we never bought groceries that would look a little strange – don't you think?"

"But why all the way up here? There are closer stores," I say, trying to keep the doubt out of my voice.

He shrugs and smiles at me. It is one of those devastating smiles, half-crooked and perfect. I will myself to look away.

"We were in the neighborhood, is all. Since we bumped into each other, I was wondering if you would be interested in accompanying me to the theater next weekend? It's opening night – _Romeo and Juliet_."

"What theater?"

"The Paramount and Moore Theater in Seattle."

I sigh, at war with myself. It's a theater I've always wanted to see – and _Romeo and Juliet_. But it would mean an entire night with Edward. We'd be close together, in the dark. The memory of our first movie in class rushes through my mind.

I shake my head. "I don't think I can, as lovely as the offer is."

His smile fades and he looks a little annoyed before putting his impenetrable mask on again. "Too soon?"

I nod.

"Well – I wouldn't want these tickets to go to waste. Take someone with you. Have a good time."

He holds out the tickets to me and I shake my head again. "I really can't accept those."

"Why not? Because they're from me?"

"Yes. It's too much, really."

He runs his hand through his hair. "You can be so insanely stubborn. Fine. I'll see you Monday, unless you want me to drop out of school?"

His aggravated tone and icy demeanor cause me to take a step back, into the truck door.

He watches me under a heavy brow before lifting his hand to his face and tugging at his jaw, such a human gesture.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be curt with you. I'll see you at school, unless you call. Drive safe, Bella."

He walks away and I hurry to get in my truck and drive home. I've never seen him like that before.

I make it into the house just in time with the last of the bags. I take my time putting things away. When I finish that chore I head into the living room and flip on the TV. I don't bother to change the channel. My mind isn't really on entertainment at the moment.

It was entirely too convenient that Edward was at the grocery store – and with Alice. I really didn't like to imagine that she was keeping tabs on me but I couldn't shake the feeling that she was, and at her brother's request, no doubt. She'd seemed too willing to leave us "alone", and she'd been smiling the entire time. I decide that I'll take all the grocery money with me next time so I don't have to go through anything like that again. And I will pay Edward back, whether he likes it or not.

I sigh, thinking about the tickets to the play. It almost seemed like a bribe, a well thought out bribe, one that I would be tempted to take. And I had been tempted – at least a little. But I wasn't about to let him try to buy time with me. Friendships don't operate that way.

I scowl – more irritated now than before I'd left the house. I thought back to the argument I'd had with Edward, the one where I told him I needed space. I hadn't really laid out the boundaries that I wanted in place – I still wasn't sure what they should be. But I knew I had better figure those out soon.

I flip off the TV and go upstairs. I pull out my journal and write "_Boundaries_" at the top.

_Alice needs to not keep tabs on me._

_You can't pay for things for me – in the event that you do, you will let me pay you back._

_Don't buy tickets or make plans for us without consulting me first. _

I know I need more than just those three but I figure that it's a good start.


	9. Chapter 9

_A/N: Please review! I love hearing what you guys think! This chapter will have some squickyness if you're strictly a Jacob/Bella shipper. But it gets better, I promise! Now, onto the goods!_

Edward pinches the bridge of his nose, as he always does when he is frustrated. He holds my partial list of boundaries in his hand.

I hadn't expected it to be such a big deal – but it was obviously bothering him.

"What's wrong?" I asked after several long moments.

"This list. It's impossible, Bella."

I crossed my arms defensively. "It's totally possible. And I'm not done with it either. Those were just the first three I thought of yesterday."

"Two of them, I can live with – despite them being ridiculous. But Alice watching for you – that's the deal breaker. I can't ask her not to. It's too dangerous."

"I don't need her keeping tabs on me," I argued.

He looked at me and handed back the paper. "No. This is non-negotiable. It is solely for your protection."

I might have believed that before yesterday and the little run-in at the store but I wasn't just going to let him dictate to me. "Edward – this is a condition of our being friends. It's important to me that you respect my wishes."

His eyes flashed angrily. "Stop being so childish. I am trying to indulge you with this, I really am, and I'm sorry but you will just have to get over this."

I felt like he had slapped me in the face. "Then leave."

"No, Bella. Kicking me out is not going to resolve this issue. I am telling you that I will not accept that term. It is your job now, to revise the list into something acceptable. That is called compromise – and that is a huge part of any friendship. Do you understand?"

"Don't talk to me like that. Since when are you my father?" I ask him angrily, furious with his condescending tone.

He shakes his head. "Sometimes it is all too clear how young you really are. I keep forgetting. Forgive me."

I slap him.

And then I scream.

"Bella – are you all right?"

I clutch my hand. "You marble bastard! Damn it – this is your fault."

He gently pulls my arm away from my body and winces when he sees my hand. "We need to take you in for an X-ray. It's likely broken."

"No shit! Will you at least drive me there?"

He rolls his eyes. "Well, naturally."

He scoops me up against my vehement protests and walks down the stairs with me cradled in his arms. I've never wanted to be as far away from him as I do right now. He places me gently in his Volvo and puts the seatbelt on for me.

I fume silently as he drives.

It is a tense silence all the way to the hospital.

We walk into the E.R. and the nurse pulls my file before I get up to the desk.

"Back again Ms. Swan? What is it this time?"

"I hurt my hand – um, accidentally shut the door to my truck on it."

"Okay – so they'll need to see you in Radiology. You know where it is. Do you want me to call your father?"

I shake my head. "No that's all right. I'll just tell him when I get home."

The nurse looks uncertain but waves Edward and I through.

"You don't need to stay," I hiss as we sit in the small waiting room in Radiology.

"Like I'm going to leave you like this," he retorts, looking at my hand. "Would you like me to get you a cold compress?"

Anything to get him away from me. "Yes."

"I'll be right back," he murmurs, standing up and leaving the room.

I sigh, wondering how I will explain this to Charlie. I start counting the cracks in the ceiling.

He returns in no time with the promised compress.

I place it on my injured hand, concentrating on everything but the statue next to me. I go back to counting cracks until I lose track and then follow the little lines on the tiles on the floor.

But his movements keep catching my eye. I watch as he switches position, coughs softly, and crosses his legs. Such human gestures – all fake. I wonder if he has to think about it, or if he just does it naturally. A woman sitting across from us keeps staring at him over the lip of her magazine with a dreamy expression.

It doesn't bother me like it would have before.

My phone buzzes, indicating a text message. I reach down with my good hand and look at my phone.

_RAWR from your favorite neighborhood mechanic_

I snicker and carefully reply. _Hey Jake whatcha doin?_

_Prentending 2 do my hw, u?_

I grimace, and decide to be honest. _At the hospital, getting an x-ray._

_R u ok? What happened?_

I look at Edward and he looks down at the phone. "Are you planning on telling him?"

"I didn't realize you were being so nosy. Why, does it matter?"

Edward shifts in his seat but gives me a look. "No."

I roll my eyes and change positions so Edward can't see the screen. I hear him sigh softly but I don't care.

_Edward and I got in a fight._

_WTF? Did that bastard hurt you? _

_No I got mad and hit him… _

_OH. So you hurt your hand?_

_Yeah. Pretty dumb, huh?_

_Well yeah but its kinda bad ass. Next time just ask me to hit him 4 u. I'd be more than happy to._

_Uh huh. Well my name just got called. G2G but talk later?_

_Take care honey._

I slide my phone back into my purse and walk over to the technician.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Edward asks.

I shake my head no. It's the last thing I want right now. I follow the technician who introduces herself as Anne as she leads me into a familiar room.

Two hours later I'm back at home with a lovely new cast on my hand and wrist.

Edward apologized profusely before dropping me off but it doesn't do much to make me feel any better, especially when he won't budge on the Alice issue.

Charlie is upset when he sees the cast but not terribly surprised. He doesn't even yell at me for his healthy new snacks.

I go upstairs and drop into my bed completely drained.

I don't bother changing clothes. I just curl in on myself and try to sleep. But sleep is elusive.

Eventually I get up and walk over to the window. I raise the sash and a blast of cold hair hits my face. In some ways, the cold is so comforting to me – at least it is to my body, now that I've been with Edward.

I cradle my cast to my chest and run my finger up and down the rough surface. Even though I'm so angry with him, and I definitely don't want to see him right now, there is a part of me that craves his presence, like I'm some kind of junkie and he's the quick fix. It's sick really. I don't understand why I want him so damn much. Why someone so infuriating is always on the edges of my mind.

I sit down in my rocker with my back to the window. I sit and rock, and think.

With Edward – its never been natural. It's always been this craving that I don't understand. Something about him, his smell or his looks, or his damned eyes just makes me weak and stupid. Being near him makes me forget myself – my mind doesn't work right, even if I really try to make sense of things and be logical.

I'd always thought that this instinct, or urge, or whatever it is, was romantic. It gave me a sense of purpose, of feeling special. It was like star crossed lovers, the unlikely pair, being brought together again and again by fate. I'd always felt that Edward was my destiny – the only one for me. I'd been willing to give up everything for him, even my life.

But it isn't right. It's unnatural. It shouldn't be like this.

There is no equality when it comes to Edward. I'm less – I'll always be less. He'll always be perfectly perfect even when he's not. Even when I know he's done something bad, and I push him away, there's a part of me that can't stand up to the pressure – that needs him even though he's all wrong for me.

That's the truth. The ugly, blatant truth. He's wrong for me. And it doesn't matter.

Because I'm so fucking weak.

I hate myself for feeling this way.

His hands dropping down lightly on my shoulders causes me to jump. I hadn't heard him enter the room.

It's wrong.

"Isabella," he whispers and pulls my hair back, tilting my neck to the side, placing freezing kisses along the skin.

"What are you doing here?" I whisper, my heart thumping erratically.

"I couldn't stay away from you," he murmurs.

I close my eyes and try to fight off the sensations that make me want to give in, to let him stay.

"I want to give you everything you want, everything. Just let me back in," he says quietly, suggestively.

Even though I'm terrified there's a small part of me (damn it!) that's thrilled. His voice is like liquid honey. "Be specific," I manage to say.

"What is it that you crave above all else? I will make it happen."

I can't keep the blush from creeping up my face. He knows what I've wanted from him – for awhile now. "You told me you can't."

He breathes quietly for a moment. "I may not be able to go as far as you like, but I can try."

His hands, so innocently resting on my shoulders begin to move sensually, and his fingers creep down onto the top of my breasts.

I can scarcely breathe. His scent is swirling all around me and I try to remember why this is wrong – why this shouldn't be happening, but I can't. I feel detached from reality.

I moan when his fingers brush across my nipples, turning them into stiff little peaks. He licks my earlobe and I gasp, closing my eyes.

I feel like a melting puddle, all loose and incoherent.

His hands are lower now and so close to where I want them to be, when a current of fresh air blows into my room and his scent, which had encircled me, lifted for a second.

"No!" I gasp, and launch myself from the chair, turning to face him. "Please go, Edward."

He stares at me, surprised. Then he takes a few steps forward.

"No! No! Look, you need to go," I whisper furiously as I hold my good hand out in front of me as a shield. I'm terrified of what I'll do if he gets close. I don't understand why I let him touch me at all. Why he's able to just make me a puppet. But it scares me.

He drops the polite mask he was wearing and I can suddenly see the predator in him as he stalks forward and pushes me back against the wall. I'm stunned. His body is pressed against mine and he kisses me roughly.

"Open your mouth," he orders as his lips assault mine.

I stay as still as a statue and try to not breathe. I won't respond! It's something about his scent that makes me insane. I can't breathe it in. I can't.

I try to get out of his arms but it's like trying to move a giant boulder. He is immovable.

And I suddenly realize how very tiny and human I am. I go limp. And I need air.

I gasp and suck in huge lungfuls of air and everything gets very dim. We're on the bed but I don't know how or why, I'm so dizzy, and I feel drunk, and suddenly he's there and nothing makes sense. He's above me and even though I feel like I want this, I know deep down I don't. Not really. This is wrong.

For the first time ever, when I look up at him into his now burning black eyes, I suddenly see a vision of Jacob. And I realize how different it would be with him, how natural, and real. Something inside breaks loose.

And I cry. Because Jake would never treat me like this. He wouldn't use some chemical cheat to get me to bend to his will. He wouldn't manipulate me like a marionette.

Edward stops kissing me and slowly some sense returns to him.

It does to me as well. "Get the fuck off of me."


	10. Chapter 10

_A/N: You reviewers rock my socks! I was really feeling the love and felt that I had to update asap! Reviews feed the muse! Also – I had a banner done by majestamoniet over on LJ that is amazing! I was so inspired by her art that I made a wallpaper for this story. If you'd like to see either of them or both – head on over to photobucket and where you see the search bar, simply change "photos" to "users" and type in good2bekitty. The first two photos are the banner and the wallpaper! Also – be prepared for some evil!Edward in this chapter. _

Edward looks down at me, clearly confused. "Really?"

"So help me God if you don't get off of me right now I am calling Charlie in here!"

Edward smiles, but it's cold. "And what do you think the Chief could possibly do to me?"

I tremble. "Are you threatening my father?"

"No – merely pointing out he is no threat to me. I don't know why you're still playing this game, Bella. You know you're mine – you have been since you told me you loved me. You came all the way to Italy for me – you faced down the Volturi. Bella – no one will ever have the connection with you that I have. We belong together."

My voice rises an octave. "You cocky son of a bitch! You think you own me or something? Think again! I don't want you as my boyfriend – I don't even want you as my friend. You leave me the hell alone!"

He sighs and runs his fingers through my hair. "You're beautiful when you're angry."

I open my mouth to call for Charlie but his hand circles my throat and cuts off my air supply. My eyes go wide and I thrash on the bed.

"Shhhh. Isabella. You need to stop fighting me. Be a good girl and do as I say and no one will be hurt. I'm going to make you so happy – I promise it. I was such a fool before, and I'll make up for everything I've done. I don't like hurting you like this."

He lets go of my throat and I gasp for air as tears slide down my cheeks. I've never been so scared. I wonder if he's left fingerprint size bruises.

"Now I'm going to hold you and you're going to sleep just like we used to. I miss holding you – when I was away it was all I could think about. When you wake up you'll feel better. You're my world."

He rolls over to the side and arranges my frozen from shock body to how he wants it before wrapping his arm around my waist. It's like an iron vice and I know I'm not going anywhere.

I can't stop shaking, I'm absolutely terrified.

I lay there, tears streaming down my face for hours while he hums my lullaby in the dark.

What have I done?

The entire night passes but I cannot sleep. I am completely on guard. Around three am my bladder is aching but I don't dare to say a word.

The sun rises and I hear Charlie moving around before he leaves for work. I pray that Edward will want to go to his family now that its daybreak.

I feel Edward kiss the back of my head. "You really should have gotten some sleep," he says in a disappointed tone, "You know I'd never let anything happen to you."

"I need to go to the restroom," I finally whisper.

"That's not a problem," he says lightly. He lets go of me and I stumble out of bed. I leave the room and dash into the bathroom, but he stops me from closing the door all the way.

"Go ahead," he encourages.

"Not with you standing there!"

"I'm sorry but I don't trust that you'll keep yourself safe. Now go on – it's perfectly natural."

Frustrated beyond belief and having to pee very badly, I pull a towel over my lap and let myself urinate.

I've never been absolutely humiliated before – not like this. I might truly hate him.

I wash up and he escorts me downstairs. I watch with a frown as he makes me a bowl of cereal. I stare at it. I can't possibly eat as sick to my stomach as I am.

"What's wrong?" he asks, concerned.

"You know what's wrong; what you've done to me. I never thought you would ever treat me like that."

"Bella, I love you more than anything in this world. All I'm trying to do is to get you to calm down and think things through rationally. I know you're a teenager and you have hormones…"

I shriek in rage. "MY HORMONES? ARE YOU SERIOUS?"

I pick up the bowl of cereal and chuck it at his head. He doesn't stop it from hitting him. He lets the milk and soggy cereal run down his expensive clothes, staining them.

"Feel better?" he asks smoothly, without showing any reaction.

"No! How can you just treat me like this? Like a prisoner? Like a child? You're scaring me, Edward."

He sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. "I know. I'm sorry, Bella. I don't want to scare you – truly. I just need you to calm down, okay? You haven't been yourself lately."

I put my forehead down on the kitchen table, unable to even look at him. "_I haven't been myself_?"

I want him to examine the irony for a minute.

I raise my head and glare at him. "I don't think I know you at all."

He gives me that half crooked smile, but I don't find it charming. It looks almost grotesque. I notice how dark his eyes are and I can't help but be worried – worried he'll lose control and…

"Edward, when was the last time you hunted?"

My question seems to surprise him. "It's been awhile," he admits.

"You should probably do that, um, soon. Your eyes are really dark."

He crosses his legs and looks at me. "I suppose you're right. You think you can manage by yourself today?"

I nod my head quickly instead of screaming at him like I really want to.

"All right. You be a good girl. Try to get some rest today, okay?"

He walks toward me and I hold myself perfectly still as he kisses my cheek. "Oh – and you're not going to tell anyone about last night," he says offhandedly.

"Why not?" I blurt out unthinkingly.

"Because, no one else would understand. No one can possibly understand just how much I love you. I don't even think you realize it yet. But I'd really hate to think of what could happen if you let it slip."

His tone is as cold as ice and I know what he's saying. It's a threat – as clear as glass.

"I love you, Bella. I'll be seeing you soon."

As soon as he leaves I collapse on the kitchen floor. I cry out my sorrow, my anger, my sadness. I can't believe I ever thought I loved him.

As soon as I stop crying I reach for the phone. I try to punch in the right numbers but I mess up twice because I'm shaking so hard. Finally I hear the phone ringing.

_Please pick up. Please. _

"Hello?"

"Jacob!" my voice cracks.

"Bella! What's wrong?"

"Can you please, please come over? Please?"

"Yeah of course! I'm on my way. Are you okay?"

"No – not really. Hurry."

"I'll see you soon, Bells. Hang on honey."

He hangs up at the same time I do and I sink to the floor with the wall supporting my back and wait.


	11. Chapter 11

_A/N: Thank you so much to all of you who reviewed. I was so touched. And if I didn't respond it was because you'd turned off the PM feature so I couldn't. But really – thank you all so much. I hope this next chapter is what you were hoping for! Also the Breaking Dawn trailer is now out on IMDB so if you want to check it out you can. (I still don't get why she married Edward! Arghhhhh. At least I can rectify that situation here!_

I couldn't move from the kitchen floor. I sat there, staring blankly, numb and shocked. And it seemed like hours passed. I had no notion of time. I kept playing back the night before with Edward. At last, I was distracted from the ugly remembrance by the door opening and closing.

I looked up and saw someone I didn't expect, or want to see.

"Bella."

Her heels clicked with purpose as she walked across the kitchen dressed smartly in a silver suit. She knelt down when she got near to me, her eyes as golden as her hair.

I looked up at Rosalie. "What are you doing here?" My voice came out in a whisper.

She holds up her hand. "We don't have the time. You need to listen to me."

I let out a half-hysterical laugh. "You finally decided to tell me that your so called brother is an insane asshole? Guess what? I already know."

She purses her lips and lets her eyes drift down to my bruises. She shows no reaction. "Edward is not good for you – he never was. I did my best to convince him to leave you alone, but I was obviously unsuccessful. I'm going to do my best to keep him distracted and away from you – at least buy you enough time to get out. You need to run."

She opens her bag and pulls out a credit card with my name on it, a passport, and a thick stack of cash held together with a gold money clip engraved with an "R".

I looked up at her, totally surprised, and not a little afraid.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because I know his dark side. There's a reason he hasn't been with anyone – not seriously – before. Most people had the good sense to stay away from him, but not you. He even warned you but you were too stupid to listen. If you value your life, you will get away, as far away as you possibly can. You need to disappear."

"But, what about Alice?"

She smirks. "I love Alice – but _you_ cannot trust that pixie bitch. She will side with him every time. She enjoys playing matchmaker – and she loves having a project. That's all you are to her. She'll do anything to keep you," she trails off.

I swallow nervously. "Why are you helping me? I thought you hated me."

She smiles. "I don't know what to say. I'm glad you've finally woken up and saw him for what he is. Edward reads minds – he can come across as the most perfect guy in the world. He has the rest of the family wrapped around his little finger. He can be whatever he wants to be – he's the best actor out of all of us. He might not be able to read your mind, but he knows more about you than you'd ever think and he uses that knowledge against you." she sighs. "My family is going to be furious with me but I'm used to being on the outside. I'm sure they are on their way back now. I can't help you again – they'll be watching for that."

She tucks her offerings into my pockets before standing and walking halfway out of the kitchen. Suddenly she stops and goes ramrod straight. She turns back for a moment. "Don't ever let a guy treat you like shit no matter WHAT he is." She walks swiftly out the door and I hear her car start in the driveway and peel out.

Moments later, before I can even begin processing what had happened, the door bangs open loudly. Jake jogs in, covered in sweat, his nose wrinkled in disgust.

"Bells?" He runs to my side and drops on his knees in front of me. "Honey?" he whispers.

He tilts my head up, his eyes filled with concern. He strokes my cheek and pulls back my hair in a gentle caress. His concerned eyes take stock of my face, and drift down to my neck.

His eyes go round as saucers and the air around him vibrates. He's shaking all over. He scrambles back as fast as he can knocking the kitchen chairs out of the way and explodes into the wolf.

I shield my eyes as he takes his fury out on the kitchen around me. I hear the splintering wood, the falling tiles, the crashing and banging of pots and pans as they fall to the ground. It's like a tornado is going on all around me.

I know I should be scared to death, but I know, intrinsically, that he would never allow himself to hurt me. It was time to get the cabinets redone anyway.

I wait it out.

Jacob in wolf form finally stops his destruction and zeroes in on me. He stands there, his flanks heaving for a moment before he bows his head and walks forward slowly, not breaking eye contact. He lies down and puts his head in my lap looking up at me.

I recognize the gesture for what it is; an apology.

I stroke his head absently, while tears slide down my face. Even after all I've put him through, he's still here for me.

"Thank you for coming," I whisper, threading my hands in his fur.

Slowly he backs away and in the blink of an eye he is himself again. He stands in front of me, not a hint of discomfort for his nudity. He looks at me as though he has tunnel vision and his eyes are glowing. I've never seen him look so intent, so focused before. Something has happened but I'm not sure what. He radiates calm, and power. I look up at him in awe and as he looks down at me, he grins suddenly.

He leans down and picks me up easily without asking. He carries me out of the house and into the woods. He walks quickly and for what seems like forever before I hear rustling noises. He stops and waits.

My heart beats faster. I'm terrified Edward will show up.

"Don't worry," he whispers.

His brothers come out of the underbrush, all in wolf form. They walk forward slowly and the largest of them phases back into his human form. Sam.

"What has happened?" he asks. "We heard your call for help."

Jacob licks his lips and looks down at me. "The bloodsuckers have violated the treaty. They have harmed a human. See the evidence on her," he tilts my head back and Sam walks forward, inspecting the marks, but not touching me.

"So they have. The treaty is broken," he looks around at the other wolves. "They will die."

The wolves howl in agreement, and the sound is eerie in the now silent woods.

Sam looks at me, and at Jacob. He lifts an eyebrow – asking something but I'm not sure what.

"She doesn't know," Jacob says quietly.

Sam nods. "We will watch your back. Take her to safety."

Jacob strides forward, holding me. We pass his brothers and when they are out of sight he stops.

"I'm going to put you down for a moment."

He sets me on my feet and I wobble but he steadies me. He stares into my eyes.

"We can get to the reservation faster if I phase and you hang onto my back. Do you think you can do that?"

I nod, unable to speak.

He steps a few paces away and his form blurs. He's the wolf again.

He stands there patiently and lowers himself so I can climb on. I wrap my arms around his neck and lock my knees into place on either side of him.

Suddenly, he launches through the air, and lopes forward so fast I can hardly believe it. His pace is steady and even, and I feel the wind whipping through my hair. His body is strong beneath me, completely hard and muscular, and I doubt that there is anything in the woods that could stop him.

The run to La Push doesn't take nearly as long as I would have imagined, and we stop in front of his house.

I pry myself off of him and fall onto the wood porch. Jake phases back and helps me into the cabin.

Billy looks up in surprise.

He says a few words in Quileute, clearly asking something.

Jacob responds in the language of his ancestors and I look up at him, slightly surprised. I'd never thought of him speaking his native tongue – had never heard it before. It was beautiful.

Billy wheels himself into the kitchen and I hear him pick up the phone.

"Wait here, I'll get dressed."

I stand awkwardly in his living room. He's only gone for a moment, and comes back in a pair of shorts and a tight white shirt – old oil stains on one shoulder.

He takes my hand and leads me to the couch. He sits and pulls me into his lap.

I might have been embarrassed by such behavior before, but right now, all I want to do is be close to him. I lean back into his chest and his arms wrap around me protectively. I can hear him breathing behind me.

"I'm going to keep you safe, I swear it."

I try to think of something to say – anything, but nothing seems quite right. I'm so overwhelmed and grateful and scared…

"You believe me – don't you?" he asks after a minute.

I let my fingers run up and down his right forearm. "Yes."

"I'm going to need you to trust me, sweetheart."

Billy wheels back into the room. If he's surprised at how we're sitting he doesn't say it. "Meeting in ten minutes."

"Good."

Billy comes a bit closer, and this time he's looking at me. "You can make yourself at home, Bella. You're welcome here."

I stare at him, surprised, and touched. "Thank you."

He turns to look at his son. "We're meeting in the front yard- she should stay in here."

I feel him go rigid. "No. She will not leave my sight."

Billy sighs but doesn't argue.

The clock ticks by and I hear some commotion and voices outside of the cabin. Billy wheels himself out.

Jacob stands up and steps away only to claim my hand. He gives me a look – and I know there's some sort of significance I'm missing. He sighs. And then we walk outside together.


	12. Chapter 12

_Author's Note: You guy's kick a**. Thanks for all the awesome reviews! Here's the next chapter! Hope you like it!_

War is in the air.

Jacob takes me down his front steps and stands with me at the head of the circle that has formed. There are grim expressions on every face. Some questioning looks are thrown my way but no one says a word.

We are waiting.

A few minutes later, I understand why. The pack has returned.

Sam walks up to Jacob and I, and stands directly to Jacob's left side. He takes hold of Emily's hand, kisses it briefly and then clears his throat.

Everyone is silent and riveted, waiting to hear what he has to say.

"The treaty with the Cold One's has ended. They have gone back on their word and have harmed a human girl – Bella Swan! See their cruelty on her neck! She who was once a pet of theirs is no more. See how they have turned on her!"

I'm too shocked to move but Jacob pulls my hair back, exposing my throat. I hear a few people gasp. Sam waits a long moment before continuing.

"It was an unnatural treaty from the very beginning. Our fathers made a mistake trusting our natural enemy – our only enemy! And no more will they be welcome to come and go as they please – to hunt and kill friends of the forest! They will leave or they will be destroyed. We are not a war making people. But we have a responsibility to protect our people and our land. This is our duty and we will face up to our duty as our forefathers have done. We will all do our part. We will sacrifice. We may die. But we will not lose. We will fight to our last breath and we will take them to the fires where they belong!"

Sam raised his right arm, his hand clenched tightly in a fist. "Brothers and sisters! We are not safe! Our neighbors are not safe! We must keep our eyes open lest the enemy approaches! Our fires will burn brightly for fire is life and they are enemies of life! They are an abomination on this, our Mother earth!"

He closed his eyes, and knelt to the ground, his head on his knee. "Spirits of our ancestor's – hear us! We ask for guidance from our spirit warriors! We ask the nature spirits to protect us and shield us from harm. And we ask the wolf – our brother, for strength to see us through to the end!"

The rest of the circle knelt and Jacob pulled me to the ground, his arm circling around me, holding me close.

"Death to the Cold Ones!"

Everyone rose, cheering and yelling. The sound reverberated all around me and felt like a physical thing. It brought tears to my eyes.

Sam left Emily's side and came to me. He pulled me free from Jacob.

"You see now what true monsters are. We will return tenfold the damage they have done to you. You – Bella Swan – sister of the wolf, shall be protected as any of us are protected. But hear me – there is no going back. You help our enemy and you become our enemy. Do you understand?"

I sucked in a breath of life sustaining air. "Yes, I understand."

He nodded, looking pleased. He motioned Jacob over.

"She is one of us now. But she holds the same place as anyone here – and we can offer only the same protection, unless you're willing to step up. Jacob – now is the time."

I looked up at Jacob and saw his jaw tighten in defiance.

"I won't do it, Sam. It's your place, not mine."

Sam gave him no reaction, merely stared down at me meaningfully. "We'll see."

He walked away and joined a huddle of people across the driveway.

"Jake? What did he mean?"

Jacob sighed and reached down to take my hand. His hand covered mine. "He wants me to lead the pack."

"And you don't want to?"

He ran his free hand through his short hair. "I don't think I can do it, Bells. It's more than a title, a position. It's the power of life and death. It's the kind of responsibility no one should ever have. I'm not even eighteen years old. I'm not fit to lead everyone through this. I'm not strong enough."

I looked up at him and though my mind was blank, my mouth seemed to have a mind all its own."Jake, you're one of the strongest people I know. I'm not telling you that because I want you to do it. I just want you to know that, I think you can do anything if you really wanted to. You're Jacob Black – and I believe in you."

I didn't plan on saying it – hadn't consciously thought of what had come out of my mouth. But it seemed like the right thing, because it made him smile.

He looked down at me and his eyes were nearly glowing.

"Are you okay?" I whispered.

He stared at me intently without saying anything.

I watched him watching me and took a step forward without telling my body to move. I was most definitely in his personal space. His arms came around me, and he pulled me flush against him. I closed my eyes and felt truly warm for the first time in a long time.

He made this rumbling sound in his chest and I wanted to purr with contentment.

All too soon he released me, when Quil came bounding over and demanded his attention - pulling him towards Embry to discuss some boundary. I watched him as he was dragged several feet away, looking back at me with a hunger that I felt physically.

I couldn't keep my eyes off of him as he stood there, arms crossed, deliberating with the others. His voice was full of authority, and he seemed so much older than his years. I noticed that I was not the only one watching him. People were looking to him for his opinion, his advice. While Sam had to yell and be fiery to command those around him, Jacob did it with a calm assured air of someone who knows all the answers and holds all the cards. I was seeing a new side of him – one that I had no idea existed.

And it bothered me that he was across the driveway and not standing next to me.

I shook myself to try and snap out of whatever spell had been cast upon me.

Before I'd truly succeeded in disentangling my attention, Leah walked over and stood in front of me. Her eyes were as black as coal and she looked like she wanted to throttle me.

"You white witch," she said under her breath, "You don't belong here on the res, and you certainly don't belong to Jacob Black. You are so unworthy of him… it's a disgrace that he stands by your side. I wish that leech had finished what he started – I'd love to face you across the battlefield. I'd relish tearing your bony, pale ass apart."

My mouth dropped open before I slammed it firmly shut. "You have had it out for me from the beginning. I never did anything to you, Leah. And Sam said I'm welcome here. No one else seems to have a problem, why are you acting like this?"

"I don't answer to leech lovers. What was it like in bed with a dead corpse on top of you?"

I slapped her.

Everyone got quiet, and looked at the two of us. I knew if Edward was here he'd be over here, in front of me, protecting me needlessly. I was fervently grateful that he wasn't. I could fight my own battles.

To my utter surprise, Leah flashed a feral grin and then pushed me.

I stumbled backward, unable to keep my balance and fell on my ass.

Someone shouted, "Go Leah!"

I looked away at Jacob, and he was watching with a tense jaw. I could tell he wanted to step in, but something held him back. It was like he knew how much I would hate it if he did.

I picked myself up, taking a handful of dirt in my fist, and flung it at her.

"Bitch!" she shrieked as she frantically tried to clear her eyes.

I knew I only had one chance to take her and it was while she was distracted. I launched myself at her, knocking her over and taking her to the dirt. I could barely see through all the dust but we struggled, rolling over each other as we each tried to gain the upper hand and be on top. I wasn't strong – and I knew that I'd lose, but I had to fight. I had to stand up for myself.

We fought like longtime rivals, and we fought dirty. Hair was pulled. Skin was scratched. Teeth ended up in the mix.

But she was stronger, and had more experience, and she soon had me pinned beneath her, unable to move.

We were both breathing heavily. She looked down at me, her face neutral. She got off of me and offered her hand. I took it wordlessly and she pulled me up. She nodded once, and walked away.

I was instantly surrounded by the boys of the pack and they were all speaking at once.

"Damn Bella! I didn't know you had it in you!"

"Shit! I didn't know you could fight like that!"

"That was the hottest thing I've ever seen!"

"White girl's got guts!"

Jacob muscled the guys out of the way and looked at me. "You okay, honey?"

I brushed some of the dust off my shirt. "Yeah – I think so."

"Good for you, baby," he kissed my cheek and amidst the hooting and hollering took me back inside the cabin.

He pulled some of his sister's clothes from her closet and steered me into the bathroom. "You take your time, sweetie. I'll be right out here. And if you need bandaids or anything, they're in the medicine cabinet."

Jacob left me alone and I stared at myself in the mirror.

I was not the same girl I was yesterday.

Not even close.

For the first time in a long time I felt like I was something – that I was someone. And it felt good.


	13. Chapter 13

Author's Note: I am happy to have a wonderful beta on board - Thank you to Olivia! She will be going through the story from the first chapter and fixing things. There may be some tiny plot changes as well. I'll alert you all when she's finished. And now, because I don't want you to keep on waiting while she's busy... here are some lemons. =)

Bella took a deep breath before opening the bathroom door. Jake stood on the wall opposite, his legs and arms crossed, looking as calm and at ease as she'd ever seen him. This – when only minutes ago the Quileute people had declared war.

"Did Leah hurt your hand any?" Jake asked, coming forward and inspecting the dusty cast.

"No, I think she avoided it even though we were fighting. Nice of her," I rolled my eyes and laughed.

"Did I do the right thing by letting you handle it?" Jake asked a bit nervously.

I nodded. "Yeah. I'm glad. I can fight for myself. I'm kind of a badass if you hadn't noticed. You said it yourself – I still have it on my phone."

He grinned. "Yeah you're tough. I remember when you fell off the motorcycle and your head was bleeding; you wanted to jump up and try again."

I looked down and chuckled, remembering. "Yeah – probably wasn't thinking too clearly."

"Well you know I wouldn't have let you."

I looked up into his face, searching his eyes. "Why not?"

"You know damn well why," he growled. "I'd never let something happen to you if I could stop it."

I didn't know what to say. The dim light of the hallway and the dust motes enveloped us. It was warm, and dark, and Jake smelled so amazing for some reason…

"Bella?" he whispered, his voice almost a plea.

"Yes?"

"Do you feel any different? Like right now?"

I did feel differently – about everything. But I didn't know what to say or do. It was like I was seeing things clearly for once. Instead of answering I let my fingertips brush against his.

He sucked in a deep breath of air at the contact. I jumped a little. It was like an electric current ran through our bodies, sparking where our fingertips touched.

He spoke, though his voice was strained. "Tell me you feel that too."

"Yes," I whispered. "I feel it."

"Do you know what that is?" he asked.

"No."

"I think you will – after this."

Before I could formulate a response he bent down and his lips touched mine.

I gasped. The same sparks that I'd felt on the tips of my fingers was intensified. He kissed me and electricity seemed to travel from his body into mine, and my body into his. I moaned in the back of my throat and he deepened the kiss. My body was on fire. His tongue was in my mouth, probing, tasting, seeking something and somehow I knew what it was.

This wolf was mine.

With desperation I grabbed hold of Jake wherever I could, and kissed him back with all the passion and emotion that I'd been holding back. I showed him how much I had wanted him – how I had denied myself this pleasure because I thought I was meant for another. We both moaned out loud shamelessly and I ended up with my legs wrapped around his hips, my upper body supported by the wall as our bodies created friction. I could taste him, smell him, feel him and yet I wanted so much more. I wanted him inside of me – now.

I rubbed my core shamelessly against his raging erection. He groaned and carried me down the hall and into his bedroom. I wasn't thinking, and I wasn't scared. I was deliriously happy. He settled me onto the bed, knocking tons of things onto the floor. I wasn't much paying attention. He continued kissing me passionately, his hands roaming my body with needful mindlessness. His hands cupped my breasts and I let out a shrill high pitched sound as I bucked my hips up against him.

He broke the kiss and looked at me with glittering black eyes. Sweat rolled off of his face and he searched my expression. "If we need to stop you need to say it – right now. I can't hold back. I want you so much…"

_Don't do it Bella. You were meant for me. _

NO! Not now! I wanted to force Edward's voice out of my head. He was not welcome here any longer. But I didn't want to say yes out of rebelliousness either. Jacob deserved better than that.

"Jake, we need to stop, just for a minute."

He looked confused and a bit let down but he stopped immediately. He settled next to me and held my hand. I could feel his heart beat through it.

"Jacob – I want you," I said breathily, "so fucking much. I've wanted to feel you like that for so long. I just couldn't."

"Because of him," he said matter of factly.

"Yes."

"And now?" he asked.

"Now I don't want him anymore. I don't want to think about him."

"But you are?" Jacob asked.

"Not in a good way!" I whined.

"That fucking leech. Well – I appreciate you being honest, honey. I don't want out first time tainted with _him_."

I suddenly got an image in my head, of something I'd seen but never done – and I wanted badly to do it to Jacob. I wanted him to know how much I wanted him – that this wasn't his fault. I wanted to give him pleasure where I'd always given him pain.

"Jake?"

"Yeah Bells?"

"I want to do something."

"What?" he asked after a beat.

"I want to suck your cock," I whispered in his ear. "Will you let me?"

"Are you serious?" he squeaked after a few seconds had passed.

I liked how breathy he sounded, how shocked and excited. I liked that I could do that to him.

"I'm serious," I promised him as I kissed right below his ear.

"If… if you really… um… want to…" he stammered.

I let my hand slide across his flat abdomen and suppressed a little shiver I felt low in my belly. I found the button on his shorts and I fumbled to undo it – trying to be sexy but failing miserably. I blushed. Jake took pity on me and unbuttoned his shorts, and I took the zipper, and slid it down until it was open. I saw a thick patch of wiry black hair. Everything else was hidden.

He wasn't wearing boxers.

"Can you.. um.." I asked.

He slipped his shorts down, freeing his erection.

It was amazing. I'd never seen a cock up close like this, never in person, and I was very aware that this was Jacob's. I reached out with my good hand and supported my weight on my elbow. With a final look at Jacob who seemed completely absorbed on where my hand was and what it was doing, I grasped him, near the base of his cock.

He sucked in a huge lungful of air. "Fuck," he said.

It sent a little shiver down my spine. I liked making him say dirty words. I let my hand slide up and down his length slightly squeezing and he looked as though he was in agony. I immediately let go.

"Are you okay?"

He closed his eyes. "You're killing me – not literally. Just, oh my God, Bells."

"So I'm not hurting you?" I asked for clarification.

"No baby, just right."

I smiled and immediately took over where I'd left off, stroking up and down his shaft gently. I let my fingers slide up to the tip and he groaned when I brushed them across the top. I could tell he really liked that so I began tracing the top of his cock with my fingertip and I was surprised and happy when I saw pre-cum collect and then dribble down the shaft.

Feeling incredibly sexy and daring I moved closer. I could smell him, and it was unlike anything I'd ever smelled before. It made me want to taste him. To mark him. To make him all mine. I opened my mouth, and waited for Jake to look away from his cock and to me. Our eyes met and I moved forward, letting his cock impale my mouth. He jerked up involuntarily and watched me with wide eyes.

I had no clue what to do really but I kept my mouth relaxed and began to bob up and down as I'd seen other girls doing. There were perks to having my own computer in my room.

I never broke eye contact and he just stared at me, his mouth hanging open as his cock, now slick with saliva, and something salty that was just him slid into the cavern of my mouth and out again. Doing this felt incredibly dirty and hot. I couldn't believe his cock was in my mouth.

He began hissing the lower I went as I sucked him deeper. I finally broke eye contact and went as far as I could, experimentally. He groaned loudly and his hips jerked.

"Bells, I can't hold back much longer…"

I tightened my lips with determination and he began humping in earnest. I tried desperately to keep my teeth off of his skin but he was too far gone. At the last second I felt his hand resting lightly on the back of my head, and I felt him grip my hair as he suddenly came. It spurted out and overfilled my mouth. I tried swallowing as much as I could but some leaked out through my lips.

Jake pulled out and dragged me towards him and kissed me hard on the mouth.

"You are so fucking beautiful," he said as he cradled my face. "That was the most amazing experience of my life."

I couldn't help but smile. I was so happy that I'd made him feel good.

"I'd love to return the favor," he said huskily.

I looked at him, embarrassed. "Really? You'd want to…"

"I'd give my right arm to taste you," he said promptly, a grin on his face.

"I'm okay with that if you are," I said, trying to sound nonchalant.

He slipped off of the small bed and pulled his shorts back on. I arranged myself so that I was laying down, my knees bent. I shimmied out of my jeans and Jake slid my now soaked panties off of my legs. He knelt between my knees and began kissing the insides of my thighs.

His mouth was so hot on my skin and I couldn't keep my eyes off of him, and his dark hair. He kissed the insides of both thighs and only let his fingers graze my slit lightly. By the time he'd reached my core I was panting, bucking my hips urgently.

"What do you want me to do, Bells?" he asked sexily, grazing the outer lips of my pussy with his fingers.

"Please Jake, please," I begged.

"Say it," he whispered.

"Lick my pussy please!"

He divided my lips with his hand and knelt down, taking one long lick from the bottom to my clit.

"OH JESUS!" I cried out.

He began licking me in earnest, tonguing me where I needed it the most. My clit was sucked into his mouth again and again while his fingers darted inside of me, touching and then ghosting away.

He was moaning as he was licking me, saying things I couldn't quite hear – the only thing I could make out was my name. His lips locked then around my clit and he tugged slightly. I cried out, overjoyed with the sensation. He let go and I whined in protest.

"Can I use my fingers more?" he asked, licking his lips, his eyes hooded with desire.

"Yes, please!"

He slid one of his fingers all the way inside of me and my muscles clenched all around him. He began slowly finger fucking me and I begged for more shamelessly. He inserted a second finger and then returned to my clit, licking it with the flat of his tongue as his fingers worked in and out.

My hips bounced off the mattress and I mashed my pussy to his face as I crested the edge. I knew I was close…

And then he curled his fingers inwards and I exploded. He never let up but kept my orgasm going, twisting his fingers, licking and suckling me until the sensation was too much.

Finally he stopped and crawled up my body to kiss me. I could smell and taste my juices on his face and I fucking loved it.

"I want you so much right now, Bella. But I'll be good."

"I want you too," I said, letting my fingers stroke his cheek.

He grinned and looked every inch of his old carefree self. "That was wicked awesome."

I couldn't help but smile back. "Yeah – it really was."

He kissed me again and then moved to lie down next to me. He held me close.

"So," he said quietly, "what now?"

"I don't know. And for once, not having the rest of my life planned out seems okay," I said.


	14. Chapter 14

_Author's note: I was too excited not to share! Let me know what you guys think! Pretty please? I could seriously use some cheering up. My life is not so happy at the moment. _

"Well, I'm glad you feel that way, honey. You have every right to. Enough bad shit has been happening in your life. I hope for only good things from here on out," he said, stroking my arm.

"Me too," I whispered, completely at peace.

My cell phone rang.

I jumped off of the bed and rummaged through my pants until I found it. It was Charlie.

Images of what the kitchen now looked like made me wince.

"It's Charlie. Should I answer it?" I asked Jake nervously.

"Not yet. We don't have our story straight. We need to talk to the pack about this and figure out what to do."

I let it ring until it stopped and guiltily put it in my back pocket.

Jake and I made sure we were decent before heading back outside. Wolf whistles and a few high fives greeted Jacob and I realized with their magnified hearing that they'd probably heard everything. I blushed furiously and studied my shoes as though they were suddenly very interesting.

"Okay guys, shut it," Jake said. They quieted down and looked at him.

"We need to figure out what to tell Chief Swan. I phased in the kitchen and pretty much wrecked it," Jake admitted, a bit bashfully. "And Bella hasn't checked in for the last few hours."

He turned to me. "Do you think he's been home?"

I shook my head. "I don't think so – he usually gets off between six and eight. But you never know with the neighbors. They might have seen something."

"If someone saw something, they would have called him a few hours ago, right?"

I thought of how fast news circulated in the little town of Forks. "Um, definitely."

"So he's probably not calling because of the damage. But speaking of the damage – what are we going to do?"

"It could have been a wild animal," Sam said quietly. "You do live very close to the woods."

"But the only damage was in the kitchen. The front door… Jake did you close the door?"

Jake thought about it. "I'm pretty sure I did."

"Okay, well that's a problem. If we're going with the wild animal theory we need to go back and make it more realistic," Sam reasoned.

"But the Cullen's," I whispered.

Sam shook his head. "They have as much reason to cover things up as we do. They won't cause a scene. Not during the day. But that doesn't mean we do things without thinking. We take a team and stay close to the woods. We scope things out. As long as they aren't home we can get in, make it look like a wild animal got in and did all the damage. We get out, come back and regroup."

Jacob held up his hand. "That's a good plan, but what do we do about…" he looked down at me.

Sam looked deep in thought. The other wolves looked between Sam and Jacob. Sam looked up at me.

"I don't know how we're going to be able to keep you here on the res."

Jacob growled low in his chest.

Sam gave him a look. "Think about it, Jacob. She isn't 18 yet. She legally has to go to school. Her father is the Chief of Police."

"Are you telling me," Jake hissed under his breath, "that we are going to let her stay in Forks unprotected? In enemy territory? _After he hurt her?"_

"No. Not unprotected. We're going to need a guard near her at all times. I'm not trying to put her in danger, but there's only so much we can do."

My heart was thumping erratically. I was terrified. Edward wasn't who I thought he was. He wanted to control me. He'd put his hands on me and nearly strangled me.

I whimpered, thinking about it. What if he came in at night and just ended it? No one would know…

Jacob turned to me and captured my chin. "I won't let him NEAR YOU."

Everyone got quiet and looked at us. "But you can't be with me all the time. What about at school?"

Jacob closed his eyes, pained. He looked at Sam. "What do we do when she's at school?"

Sam looked unhappy. "The only thing I can think of is Bella staying with other people at all times. They won't likely cause a scene in front of people – as I said before. Can you do that, Bella?"

"Yes," I said quietly. "I know people in every class. Angela and I have the same schedule."

"But then there's the trip to and from school," Jacob pointed out. "What then?"

I sighed. "I can ask Charlie to take me and drop me off."

Jacob frowned. "But he knows you hate being seen with him. What reason would you have?"

I bit my lip. "If I didn't have transportation…"

Everyone looked over at my truck. I was suddenly sad. I had a feeling that bad things were going to happen to it.

"I can make it so it won't run without a huge bill, and later can put it back together," Jake offered.

"But that'll take time – right?" Embry asked. "We don't have a whole lot of that."

Everyone murmured an agreement.

"If you guys are risking your lives the least I can do is give you the truck," I said.

"We can just have her drive it off the highway and wreck it," Paul said. "We'll make sure it's totally trashed."

"Bella will not be getting in a wreck," Jake clarified pointedly, "one of us can drive it. We heal. She doesn't."

I looked at Jake, alarmed. "You're not going to do it, right?"

He grinned. "You're so cute. It's not a big deal. We heal really fast."

"But…"

"I'll do it – so Jake can say with you," Quil offered. "Plus, crashing a car on purpose is too awesome an opportunity to pass up."

"The real reason comes out!" laughed Embry.

"But how is Bella going to come out of that unscathed?" Jared asked. "She'd have some marks, some bruises."

Jakes' eyes darkened. "She already has bruises."

"Um, I know. But those aren't like… car crash bruises," Jared replied a bit bashfully.

"I can like throw myself down a hill or something," I offered. "With my luck…"

Jake stepped in front of me. "I don't think so. We can use makeup and stuff to make it look bad. But it won't be bad. I'm not letting you hurt yourself for an excuse. Does anyone have any costume makeup or anything? Maybe Leah does?"

Seth shook his head. "No, man. She doesn't wear anything like that."

"I can buy whatever we need at the store. I have, um, this." I pulled out the large stack of cash that Rosalie had given me.

Jake growled. "That has leech written all over it."

"Rosalie gave me this, and a credit card, and a passport. She told me to leave, to run."

"Why didn't you tell me this?" Jake asked, looking annoyed.

"I didn't exactly have a chance. I mean, you phased and then all hell broke loose and I just remembered."

He hugged me. "I'm sorry. You're right. Well… I don't like taking anything from them but it gives us a bit of an advantage. We might as well use it."

I saw all the guys looking at the stack of bills. It was an incredible amount of money. I looked around the circle, at the mostly naked boys, with tattered shorts and bare feet. I promised myself to buy them all some clothing while I was out.

"Okay, everyone. Quil – you take Bella's truck and crash it. Make it convincing. Embry – go with him and make sure the evidence is good enough. Jake, Paul, Jared, and I will be taking Bella to the store, and then making her look right. Seth – find your sister and alert Colin and Brady. You run patrol. The leeches don't know that we've declared war yet – we'll use that to our advantage. No one alert them without my order first. Now go!"

Everyone mobilized immediately. I handed my keys over to Quil, who took them with a joyful whoop. I cringed.

It was a short walk to the general store they had in town and I felt really strange walking amongst these huge Quileute boys. I walked in and located the cosmetics aisle. I bought as many things as I thought I could potentially use and then headed over to the clothing section.

"What are we doing over here?"Jake asked.

"Get everyone a couple sets of stuff to wear, all right. Might as well."

"We don't need charity," Sam said.

"It's not charity. It's the least I can do, okay. You guys are risking your lives. Please, let me just get you some clothes."

Paul held up a pair of jeans. "I haven't had jeans in forever," he whined to Sam.

Sam sighed reluctantly. "All right – we can get clothes. Let's hurry though. We've got to time things right."

I discreetly pulled some bills from the stack so that I wouldn't have to pull it out in front of the cashier. The total was close to $400. I paid happily.

We left the store, the guys caring the bags of clothing. I carried the cosmetics. When we got back to Jake's house I went straight into the bathroom and began making myself look as horrible as possible. I stared at myself, realizing I looked more like a kid on Halloween than anything else. With a sigh, I locked the bathroom door.

It hurt, but it was worth it. Real blood smears, bruises, and scratches where they should be. I used cosmetics to enhance the effect, and then messed my hair up as much as I could.

"Bella!" Jake pounded on the door, alarmed. "What the hell are you doing in there?"

I unlocked the door before he could take it off its hinges.

He looked crestfallen. "You didn't have to do this!"

"It's okay, really. I can take a little pain. It's not a big deal – all superficial."

Jake sighed deeply. "Well, the next time, just discuss stuff with me okay? We'll find a better way. I don't want you getting hurt! I've seen you bleed enough fucking times."

"I'm sorry," I apologized. I truly did feel badly about making him upset.

"Don't. It's done. Let's just get out of here, all right?"

I nodded, and followed him through the house. We met the guys outside.

They seemed surprised but pleased with the result. The boys phased in the woods and I once again rode Jacob to the crash site.

I gasped when I saw it. My truck was absolutely destroyed. The majority of the damage was on the passenger's side. That would make it seem more plausible that I'd walked away with so little injury.

Quil and Embry were covered in dirt but seemed very pleased with themselves.

"Okay, Bella. You stay here and call 911. Jake will stay near but out of sight. We're going to go to your house and mess it up a little more to make it look like a bear got inside. When you get home – we'll be waiting in the woods. Someone will always be on lookout when you're home. I'd appreciate it if when you're not at school you spend as much time on the res as possible. Jake will get the Rabbit fixed up and he can drive you there and back. It makes things easier," Sam said.

I nodded in agreement. "Of course."

"Okay. Guys – let's go. Jacob, stay out of trouble."

Jake gave him a captain's salute. "Will do."

The guys phased and took off. I took my phone out and dialed 911. I pretended to be shaken up and disoriented. I gave them my location and had to stay on the line. When we heard Sirens, Jacob backed away into the undergrowth and although I couldn't see him, I could still sense him.

Everything that happened after was a whirlwind. I was escorted to the hospital and while I was being looked over, Charlie burst in, with tears in his eyes.

"You can't keep doing this to me, kiddo."

"Dad, I'm okay. I just had a little accident. I'm fine," I explained.

He ran his hand through his hair. I noticed it was beginning to grey at the temples. I felt awful. I was probably the cause of each of those hairs.

"What happened, exactly?"

I gave him the falsified story that would fit with the evidence.

He looked grim, and sat down in a chair next to my bed. He sighed.

"Are you okay, Dad?"

He gave me a small smile. "About as well as I can be considering my only daughter was in yet another accident and our house is swarming with people."

I nearly jumped out of bed. "Our house? What's going on?"

"We won some kind of home makeover or something. I guess the Cullen's entered us into some kind of contest and we actually won. They're totally remodeling the kitchen and bathrooms, and updating a lot of stuff. We're even getting a large flat screen for the living room."

"The Cullen's," I gasped. "When did you find out?"

"A few hours ago. I tried calling you to tell you but you didn't answer," he said with a glower.

"Sorry, I must have had it on silent. Um, would you mind getting me a soda? I'm really thirsty."

He stood up. "No problem. Sprite?"

"Yeah, that sounds good."

He left the room in search of the soda while I frantically punched numbers into my phone.

Billy answered on the first ring. "Hello?"

"Billy! Have you heard anything about my house?"

"Yeah. They got back a few minutes ago. I'll let you talk to Jake."

I waited impatiently.

"Bells?"

"Yeah. It's me. I'm at the hospital with Charlie. He told me that the Cullens' supposedly put us in a contest to redo the house. He actually believed them and let them in."

"I know. They're playing dirty. They have a whole damn construction team there. We let them know that we are there and we are watching. If they put one toe out of line we won't hesitate to engage them," Jake sighed, "I'd love to tear his throat out."

I ignored his comment. "Did you talk to Edward?"

"Only in my head. I knew he was listening. He didn't much like the images I gave him."

My stomach bottomed out. "Does he know? What we did?"

"Well, I couldn't exactly hide it. I mean, it's kind of been at the front of my mind."

"Oh my God," I whispered.

"Listen honey, he isn't going to hurt you. I told him if he tries coming to your room at night we will kill him. During the day stay close to your friends and don't go anywhere alone. After school we'll make sure you get a ride down here to La Push."

"Okay," I agreed. But I couldn't stop the horrible images in my head. I was terribly afraid that we weren't doing the wisest thing.

"I love you, honey," Jake said quietly, "You have to promise that you'll do your best to stay away from them, all right?"

"I'll try," I said, hoping that I could.

Charlie entered the room.

"Gotta go, talk soon."

I hung up and accepted the freezing soda can.

Charlie sat back down, and then, Dr. Carlisle Cullen entered the room.

I set the can down on the bed without opening it.

My heart rate skyrocketed. The machine that was monitoring me went nuts, beeping urgently.

Carlisle came closer, and unplugged the machine. "It's nothing," he assured Charlie, "This machine is due for maintenance. I'll just take your pulse manually, Bella."

Carlisle came closer and his sweet smell filled my nostrils. It was like a drug and forced me to relax.

", I'm going to give her a thorough exam, if you could wait outside, I'd appreciate it."

"No problem, I'll be down the hall."

Charlie left the room and shut the door behind him.

Carlisle sighed, draping the stethoscope around his neck. "You weren't in an accident," he said quietly.

"No," I admitted.

"But something caused your injuries," he prompted.

"I had to make it realistic," I choked out.

"I know. We all have to play our parts. My son," he said, his finger ghosting along my throat, "caused this?"

I nodded.

Carlisle grimaced and then reached down and took my hand. His hand was freezing cold – colder than the soda I'd held.

"I'm very sorry that things got out of hand. Edward really should hunt more often. But his behavior was inexcusable nevertheless. I've spoken to him about what happened. He needs to limit any physical encounters with you until he can gain a bit more control."

"But, I don't want any encounters, with him, anymore," I admitted.

He sighed, sadly. "I was afraid this would happen. Bella – I need to tell you a few things about my son. He's not the most stable of us – he's more fragile by far. He loves you so much, but he's never had a relationship before. He doesn't know how to deal with complications. For example, instead of working through things, he convinced us to leave Forks altogether so that you would have a vampire free life. I'm sure as you know that didn't work out so well. It was only a matter of time before he caved and came back. Bella, you are his everything. He loves you more than anything or anyone."

"If he loves me so much," I said, gaining my courage, "then why would he try to strangle me?"

"He didn't mean to do what he did. Bella, you know how strong we are physically, and how delicate you are in comparison. He didn't mean to exert the amount of force that he did. I promise you that."

"But he said such awful things," I whispered.

"He needed very badly to hunt. He wasn't in his right mind. And Bella, I don't think you truly can appreciate La Tua Cantante. It is nearly impossible for him to resist. And not to be hurtful, but you did know about these potential problems before you became involved. You told us all you understood the potential ramifications."

I bit my lip. "Well, I made a really bad decision."

He shook his head. "I don't think you did. I just think that things would be much easier if you were to join our family permanently. The human issue would be resolved. Isn't that what you wanted?"

"I thought I did," I said, anguished, "but I don't want that anymore."

"Alice sees you becoming one of us, even now. There must be some part of you that still wishes to be like us."

I closed my eyes. "The only reason I wanted to become a vampire, was to be with Edward forever."

"That's still a possibility," Carlisle said smoothly.

"Not when I don't want to be with him," I countered.

"You're so young, Bella. I think in time, you will forgive him. And that you will become a member of the family. I'd love to have you as a daughter. You would be so loved, so cherished."

He stroked my cheek with his pale hand. "Just don't do anything rash. Let some time go by. Remember all of the good things you had with my son, and all of the benefits that you would have as a member of our family. And we musn't forget our friends in Italy."

The calm spell broke at the mention of the Volturi. "Oh my God. They're going to kill me."

"We would never let that happen, Bella. You have options. Just don't forget that. I'm going to release you from the hospital unless you'd like to stay?"

"No, I don't want to stay."

He nodded. "I'll get the paperwork together and inform your father. Remember, we'll always be here for you."

I watched him leave the room. I was shaking.

I was beginning to doubt my resolve, my decision. What if Edward really didn't mean to hurt me?

I wrapped my arms around myself, feeling lost.


	15. Chapter 15

Author's note: I want to give a shout-out to **StephJ **who was the first person to review the last chapter! Yay! Virtual cookies to you! From now on I'll give a personal shout to the first reviewer! I really appreciate all the people who take a moment to let me know that they are enjoying the story or letting me know if there's something I didn't quite explain. I've gotten lots of ideas from reviewers so keep it up guys!

* * *

I was absolutely terrified to be going home. I was afraid that the Cullen's would be there – I was afraid of what the house would look like. I was afraid to be without Jacob.

The ride home was short and uneventful despite my scanning the side of the road, wondering if the little flashes and blurs were actually real. I was shivering, despite the heater blowing hot air all over me.

Our house truly was a construction zone. There were all kinds of equipment on the street. Half the structure had been changed on the outside. I had no idea how it had gone from A to B so fast. We had to park across the street. Charlie stopped me before we could walk over.

"Well I'll be damned," he said slinging his arm around me, "will you look at that? This is some contest prize. I bet the value of this old place doubles."

"Uh huh," I said unenthusiastically.

Charlie looked down at me. "What's wrong, kiddo?"

"I'm not a fan of big changes," I murmured.

"Well, they said they'd be finished in a few days. I can almost believe them with as far as they got today."

Charlie removed his arm and walked over.

I stood in the middle of the street for a moment, before reluctantly following behind him.

The entire landscape, or lack thereof was torn up. The only thing that remained was the tree in front of my window. I lifted a piece of plastic to get inside the house. The front door and jamb was completely gone.

I stepped through, and looked into the kitchen. It was almost done. It looked like a gourmet chef lived here. There were gorgeous exotic zebrawood cabinets with wrought iron pulls, a huge kitchen island that was covered with a beautiful marble top that featured a deep sink, as well as tons of built in storage. All new lighting adorned the ceiling. The floor was adorned with clean white subway tiles, and the backsplash behind the counter was flagstone. Charlie was running his hand along the six burner Viking range. He whistled.

"This sure is something, Bells. And would you look at that fridge?"

It was easily twice the capacity than the one we'd had before. It had a computer screen on the front and a place to get crushed or cubed ice. No more balancing the plastic do it yourself ice trays on the top of Charlie's latest catch.

I was very secretly impressed.

"Do you like it?" a voice asked behind us. Charlie and I whirled around.

Esme stood there, beaming.

I immediately understood this was her design. She loved projects like this.

I shook my head. "It's, um, beautiful. Thanks."

"Oh you're welcome. Wait until you see the bathrooms!"

My heart almost stopped. Bathrooms? As in plural?

Charlie seemed a bit surprised but let her drag him up the stairs to show him.

I leaned back against the island.

I nearly jumped out of my skin when Edward and Emmett entered the room, carrying the new dining table.

Edward stared at me as he set it down and I couldn't move. He straightened up and stared into my eyes.

I felt like a deer, like prey. I didn't dare move.

"Not to break up this little staring contest, cuz you know, it's so interesting and all, but we still have some stuff outside," Emmett said, clapping his hand on Edward's shoulder.

Edward looked over at Emmett. "I think we need a little privacy."

"I don't think we do," I whispered.

Emmett looked at me for a second. "She's right. I mean you can say anything to her in front of me. Not a big deal."

"Emmett," Edward hissed, "get out."

I saw Emmett's hand grip Edward's shoulder tighter.

Edward looked pained. "Please, Emmett. If it was Rosalie…"

"It's not Rose, and besides, she can handle herself. Bella can't."

I wanted to protest but then realized I really couldn't. He was right. "If you have something to say you can say it in front of Emmett."

Edward sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Emmett released him.

He took a few steps toward me and stopped, putting his hand on the marble countertop. I couldn't help but compare the two. So similar – pale white, beautiful, and hard as stone. One had never lived, and the other was dead.

"Bella," his voice cut through my thoughts, "I feel horrible for what occurred the other night. I was wrong. I need to learn to control myself better – to conduct myself as a gentleman around you. I don't own you and shouldn't have acted like I did. It will never happen again. I give you my word."

I wasn't expecting a seemingly heartfelt apology. I was expecting him to scream at me about what I did with Jacob. But regardless I wasn't letting him get away with it. He could be acting for all I knew.

"Apology not accepted. Look at what you did to me?" I pulled my hair back and showed him the bruising. I heard Emmett gasp.

"Look – I know I lost it for a minute – I screwed up. I can own that. I'm very sorry, Bella. Please, I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me."

"I gave you my answer. You can finish whatever charade this is, and then I never want to see you in my house again."

"Go Bella," Emmett boomed, giving me a fist in the air.

Edward looked at him with malice. "Are you even my brother?"

"Well yeah, but you gotta respect what the lady said. Let's finish bringing shit in and go home. Let the Swan's rest awhile."

Edward looked at me with cold fury. "This isn't over."

He stalked out of the room and Emmett stepped a few feet closer to me. He gave me a nod that was clearly laced with approval before following.

I went upstairs to my room. Thankfully nothing had been touched that I could see. I wasn't sure I really wanted a makeover. The kitchen was the only thing that truly needed to be replaced.

I sat on my bed and traced the familiar patterns with my fingers, feeling sad. Everything was changed and there was no going back. I'd made my decision and I was not going to be swayed. I was going to listen to and trust Jake and the pack. I'd do what I had to in order to keep myself safe.

There was war on the horizon – and as much as I cared about the members of the Cullen family who hadn't hurt me – I couldn't warn them. I only hoped that they left again – and soon, before the killing started.


	16. Chapter 16

Author's Note: Firstly a shout out to my first reviewer "It's A Jacob Thing". Virtual hugs and brownies to you! Secondly – to all who reviewed last chapter – thank you so much. You guys really helped keep my spirits up. And even if you didn't review – I got so many story alerts and favorites that I was jumping out of my chair happily. Thirdly – I want to let you guys know that this story is headed to a very dark place. This story is rated M for more than just the sexual content but in this chapter there is non-consensual sex taking place. I feel like I needed to give you guys a head's up. This was very difficult to write as this has happened to me personally and I struggled with this – I apologize for the long wait, but that is why it took me so long.

The Truth and the Consequences

Chapter 16

I decided to head to the bathroom to brush my teeth before bed. I was shocked to find the tiny little bathroom was no more. It had been expanded to a reasonable size and had a beautiful sink that sat on top of a granite slab countertop. I looked at the weirdly shaped faucet and tried to figure out how to turn it on. I checked underneath the opening for some sort of handle but the water came on and gushed over my wrist in cascade of warmth. I pulled back surprised and messed with the faucet a little more coming to the realization it had one of those motion sensors on it. I lifted my brow and shook my head. Only Esme.

My toiletries were where I expected them to be, in a small bag inside the medicine cabinet. When I opened the door a light flickered on in the cabinet. It just kept getting more ridiculous. I brushed my teeth and used the toilet before deciding that I really needed a hot shower to get all the crud off of me, regardless of how tired I was.

I stepped into the glass enclosed shower gingerly and looked around at the various nozzles and sprayers that seemed to be everywhere. I wasn't sure where to stand to keep from getting sprayed with ice cold water. I decided to just huddle into the corner as best I could – and I lifted the handle. Water sprayed everywhere but instead of being icy cold, it was already at the perfect temperature. I began to wonder if they had replaced the water heater as well.

Despite not liking change – generally speaking – I was happy with the improvements to the house. I knew Charlie was thrilled and I could definitely get used to having warm water all the time.

I got out of the shower and reached for one of the pristine new towels that hung on a silver rack next to the shower. I gasped in surprise – the towels were heated as well.

I lingered after drying myself, just soaking up the heat in the room. It was such a nice change. At long last I dragged myself out of the bathroom and back into my room. It was definitely colder here.

I opened my closet and pulled out some flannel pajamas. I dropped the towel on the floor and changed before finding a hair clip to pull my damp mane off of my neck.

I checked to make sure the lock was down on the window before sliding into bed. I didn't want Edward coming back to "talk". Even though I knew the wolves were watching the house I still felt paranoid. Like there was something we hadn't thought of – a loophole. I wracked my brain to figure it out. I watched the glowing numbers on the clock steadily change.

Eventually I felt myself drifting off.

I jerked awake a moment later when I felt a prick on my left arm. I blinked my eyes and gasped but before I could even move a washcloth had been placed over my mouth and nose. I struggled but there was no moving against the impenetrable stone that held me there. I breathed in something that smelled sweet and alcoholic and I felt dizzy and disoriented. The cloth was gone now but Edward moved me to an upright position and then there was nothing.

I find myself awake in an airline seat. I try to shake off the leaden feeling in my limbs but they aren't obeying me. My mouth is dry and cottony.

"Welcome back, sleepy head."

My eyes focus on Edward sitting in a seat that is facing mine. The light from the windows outside is making his skin shimmer. I can't believe he'd risk being seen.

I try to cuss him out but I can't really make my mouth form words.

He studies me intently before saying something to himself and reaching into his pocket, pulling out a syringe.

"I'm going to give you the antidote for what I gave you earlier – it takes about ten minutes to completely be effective. You'll soon be able to move normally again. I should caution you that we are on a private jet and will not be reaching our destination anytime soon. There is no one else on board. Right now the plane is on auto-pilot. So – you need to behave yourself. Okay?"

I can't even speak much less move my head to answer. The only thing I seem to have some control over is my eyes. I squeeze them shut and feel a prick on my arm.

Slowly, I start getting some feeling back. I move my fingers and flex my arms. Soon I'm able to move whole body.

Edward hands me a glass of water that I gulp down greedily.

"Bathroom?" I ask quietly.

"In the back, on the left."

I stand up and find that my body is pretty much normal. I walk to the back, taking stock of everything I can – where the emergency exits are – anything that can be of use to get away. I see a phone near the bathroom door and catalogue that in my mind. I know I might not be able to get to it now – but maybe when he's landing the plane I'll have a shot. I reach the bathroom and close and lock the door behind me. Immediately I sink to my knees. I wrap my arms around myself and allow myself to fall to pieces.

I shake with broken sobs. How could this have happened? Where were the wolves when Edward broke in? How could he have had time to drug and kidnap me? What about Charlie? How could Edward take me away from him like this when so recently I'd run off to Italy?

And Jake?

I start trembling, feeling panic well up in me and boil over. My soul is screaming for Jacob – my Jacob. My mate. _My imprint._

I stop suddenly, forgetting to breathe. _My imprint?_ Where had that come from? Just saying it in my mind fills me with purpose, with power, and somehow I know that it's true, I know it as surely as I know the sky is blue. It doesn't matter how or when or why. It's enough to know it. Why didn't he tell me sooner?

I shake my head back and forth, trying to focus. I need to be strong and I need to find a way back home.

I stand up shakily and shove the door aside. I practically run down the aisle, between the seats, straight at that piece of shit vampire who is standing in the aisle with his arms crossed casually, and I shove Edward with everything I have in me. Of course he doesn't move an inch.

"How could you! I hate you!" I scream at him. "You fucking insane psychotic asshole! Take me home! Right now!"

He captures my wrists none too lightly. My broken wrist throbs painfully but I'm past caring.

"Calm down, love. You don't want me to drug you again, do you?"

I look up at him, disbelief on my face. He stares down at me, his eyes as black as coal.

"How could you ever think this was okay?" I ask, my voice cracking. "I never thought you would ever be capable of this."

He sighs. "When it comes to you – I'm capable of anything if it means keeping you safe."

I try desperately to swallow my fear, but I can't stop crying. "You're not the one that gets to make this kind of decision, Edward. This is my life and what I do is my choice. How dare you take that away from me!"

He looks pained. "I don't want to take away your freedom of choice – but you need to choose better. Jacob is not right for you. I am. Bella, we belong together."

I shake my head vehemently. "No, we don't. We never did. You were right all along. I never should have gotten to know you, never should have been friends with you, and I made the worst decision in my life when I fell in love with you. But I've corrected all that. I don't love you, Edward. I don't want to be with you, ever again. I'd rather die. And Jacob is right for me – perfectly right. I am his imprint and we will be together!"

He drops my wrists and takes a step backward. "Don't you dare say that."

"I will never be with you willingly! I don't love you. I don't want you," I say with conviction, hoping that he'll turn the plane around, and take me home if he sees how serious I am.

"Is it because I've never given you what you wanted?" he asks quietly, stalking forward and pulling me against him. "Because I'm going to give you what you want, everything you want. You think Jacob knows what he's doing when he touches you? Hmm? He's an inexperienced child. I've had decades to learn everything I need to do to please you."

"This isn't about sex! How could you even think that?" I shriek, angry beyond belief.

He quirks his brow. "Isn't it? You've been begging for me to take you since our first kiss. I held back because I wanted to do things the proper way. I didn't want to endanger you while you were still so fragile. But you… you turn around and get into bed with a shape-shifting teenage boy. You put yourself in more danger in that situation than I would have ever put you had I taken you to bed myself. But I plan to correct my mistake, Isabella. I will be your first, and only."

"I will never sleep with you!" I cry out, furious beyond belief. "I will never give myself willingly to you, sexually or otherwise."

"Willing or not, I will have you," he snarls, giving me a shove.

I fall to the carpeted floor of the plane. I stare up at him, absolutely terrified. I've never seen him look so evil.

He kneels down and pulls my legs apart roughly.

"No, Edward!" I scream. "Please, no! Don't do this!"

"Shut your lying mouth, Isabella."

I cry hysterically as he rips the clothes from my body.

"You belong to me. You don't belong to that fucking dog," he enunciates every word, practically spitting them at me.

"Jacob!" I scream in terror, praying that somehow he can hear me, that he can stop this, that he can save me.

Edward is hovering over me and looking down with a deranged sort of sneer on his face. "You're mine," he growls as he pushes himself inside of me for the first time.

I scream in pain. "You're hurting me! Stop!"

He doesn't even bother to pretend. We both know this is not love – this is rape.

I can feel the warmth of my blood, and smell the coppery tang of it in the air. Edward holds his breath but continues to pummel into me. I close my eyes and pray that it will be over soon, that he won't kill me in the process. But I can't stop crying.

When he's finished, he climbs off of me, crudely zipping his pants and heads toward the front of the plane, leaving me bleeding, naked, and in pain on the floor.

I curl into a ball, feeling as cold as I ever have in my life. I wish I was dead. I rock myself back and forth, murmuring Jacob's name.

_Jacob… Jacob… Jacob…_


	17. Chapter 17

Author's Note: This chapter is dedicated to the first reviewer from the last chapter BeccieT. There will be more drama, angst, and sadness coming up. Be prepared.

The Truth and the Consequences

Chapter 17

I don't know how long I stayed curled up on the carpet before dragging myself to a standing position. I stumble to the back of the plane, and feeling like it's my only shot, I grab the phone and dial Jacob's cell.

"Bella!" He knows it's me before I even say anything. This brief connection gives me more strength than I ever thought it could.

"Jake he's kidnapped me and raped me and I'm on a plane…"

I hear a roar of pure anger and agony on the other end of the line before Edward is there. He yanks the phone out of my hand and pulls it from the wall, effectively taking away my only line of communication.

Edward stares at me dispassionately for a second, not wanting to acknowledge how insane he's being. "You need to clean yourself up. Also, take care of the bloodstain out there. There are cleaning supplies in the cupboard. There's going to be some turbulence coming up so you might want to make that happen soon."

I'm beyond shocked. My eyes dart toward the place where** it** happened, and I can see a small amount of blood staining the carpeting.

I struggle to keep myself from screaming at him but I'm proud of how steady my voice sounds. "You caused the mess when you RAPED me – you clean it."

He grabs my throat and forces me against the bathroom door. "I didn't rape you. You are going to apologize to me for that ludicrous accusation right now."

He releases my throat and I gasp, sucking in air. "Fuck… you," I rasp. I will die before I apologize to this monster.

"Do you really want me to smell your freshly spilled blood, Bella? I haven't eaten in weeks," he snarls angrily.

My eyes widen and I backpedal, suddenly scared to death. "I'll take care of it, okay?"

He smiles and kisses my forehead. "That's a good girl. I've taken the liberty of providing you with more suitable clothing. There's a suitcase behind your seat. I suggest layers."

I pretend to look guileless. Thank God he can't read my mind. I've already imagined a dozen ways of watching him die.

It takes me a long time to thoroughly clean myself of all the blood, and to dress myself. My hands are shaking so hard I feel like my Gran while she was in the latter stages of Parkinson's. I try not to see the beginning stages of the bruises that are blooming on my skin like grotesque mottled flowers.

After that I hold my nose and look away while I scrub at the floor. I can't believe that I'm doing this. I hate myself more every minute.

Once I've finished cleaning, I gingerly sit down, wincing as I do for a sharp pain stabs through me, and stare out the window for lack of anything better to do.

I relax my eyes and suddenly see a ghost like image of trees flying past at incredible speed. I blink rapidly but the image is still there. I feel as though my heart is being pulled along in this vision and then I see a house on fire – the Cullen's home. Smoke billows up into the air and I see ghostly images of bodies dancing with joy ringing the house like it's a giant bonfire.

I can feel no joy, only a deeply rooted anger that is as hot and deep as the earth's core, boiling lava barely contained by molten layers of rock. It rivals my own deep seated fury.

I gasp aloud at the intensity of it and then feel a kind of shock – as though the anger has been cut off – giving way to tender wonder. It's the feeling before a kiss that you know will be pure magic, that moment of leaning forward, feeling breath on breath, anticipation racing in your heart, yearning and excitement, and I swear that I can almost smell him, pine and that special something that is just Jake. I feel warm from head to toe, and awash in perfect love.

And then the plane bounces and like smoke it fades away, leaving me crying aloud with the loss.

"Bella?"

Edward kneels in front of me. "What is it?"

I jerk back to reality and bring my knees up in front of me on the seat, as an extra sort of barrier. I refuse to talk to him. I bite my lip and stare out the window, wishing with all my heart that I was with Jacob and not trapped on a plane with a monster.

He stays for what feels like forever, staring at me, making me horribly uncomfortable before finally moving away and going back to the cockpit. There is more jostling and bouncing and I close my eyes tight. I hate flying.

The only thing that is keeping me from setting fire to this plane – and believe me I'd happily do it just to make sure he burned – is Jacob. I could never do that to him. I will fight with everything I have until I am back home with him, where I rightfully belong at his side.

I can't believe I ever thought that Edward was the one I was meant to be with. What a foolish, stupid girl I was.

Edward's voice comes over the PA and he informs me to buckle my seatbelt as we're going to be landing.

I close my eyes and pray as we begin to land that nothing goes wrong. I hate landings the most.

In no time at all the plane has touched down on the runway. It's cloudy outside.

Edward comes back after a few minutes.

"Do I need to drug you?" he asks.

I shake my head no.

"Act like everything is fine. If you try anything I have a needle in my pocket. And no one here speaks English so they can't understand you. Got it?"

I don't want to be knocked out. I need to gather as much information as possible about where we are.

"I'll be fine," I say in my meekest voice.

He smiles down at me. "Of course you will, you're with me."

I keep the plastic grin on my face until he looks away. We exit the plane and to my utter surprise head for a helicopter.

"Do you need to use the facilities before we take off?" Edward asks as an afterthought.

"Yes," I say, even though I don't.

We walk into the airport and I see signs in Spanish. I see "Barcelona" on one sign so I now have an idea of where I am.

He leads me to a woman's restroom.

"I'll be right outside," he says in a warning tone.

I nod and head inside. My heart is beating fast. There is a small line for the stalls. As I wait I frantically look around, praying for some idea to help me.

My eyes land on the woman in front of me. She has a pull along suitcase and an overstuffed purse. I can see the top of a cell phone sticking out from it at a haphazard angle.

Under normal conditions I don't condone stealing, but this is an emergency. I'm nervous as hell of being caught but when the line moves forward I purposely stumble and fall flat on my face, taking down two other people with me. In the commotion I manage to get my hands on the phone and slip it under my shirt.

Though I get a few dirty looks, I'm ecstatic and I now have a way of contacting the outside world.

I go inside a stall when one frees up and find that I now surprisingly have to pee. Before I do anything else I turn the phone off and slip it into my shoe. I tie the laces tight. It takes only a few more minutes to take care of business and wash up but Edward eyes me suspiciously as I'm coming out.

"Sorry, there was a line," I say, and hold the door open long enough for him to see.

Edward takes my arm and steers me back toward the runway. We walk quickly and Edward weaves us through crowds of people until we're back outside. We walk past the runway toward a helipad. He shuffles me into a helicopter and makes sure I'm buckled in before getting in the pilot's seat beside me.

I've never been in a helicopter before and I'm absolutely terrified.

Edward checks a few of the instruments and speaks to whom I assume is air traffic control before he gets the blades whirring and we lift off. We drift side to side a little, hovering only a few feet off the ground before accelerating up and moving out. We fly high over a populated city and move out into countryside. I watch as the ground elevation changes and we cross through green fields, gradually moving into a mountainous area covered in snow.

I'm not sure how long we're in the air before Edward speaks to someone in a language I've never heard before. We land shortly thereafter in a snowy village, which seems to be sparsely populated.

A limo is waiting for us there, and Edward ushers me into the back, closing the door behind me. The windows are heavily tinted and I soon see why. Though this is a snowy landscape, there is still sunshine. The weak rays of late afternoon cause the snow to sparkle. It reminds me of Edward's skin and I turn away, repulsed.

Every sign we pass I try to memorize. Edward attempts to make conversation but I don't feel like talking. I've had enough of him to last ten lifetimes.

Gradually day turns to night and my stomach rumbles.

"Hungry?" Edward asks unnecessarily.

"A little," I say.

Edward reaches into the mini bar and pulls out a coke. "This should tide you over."

I accept the can and pop the tab. The cold soda tastes okay but I'm grateful for the caffeine that will keep me alert.

After another hour of driving uphill over winding roads we reach a side road and take that for fifteen minutes. There is only one house at the end of the road and nothing around for miles.

"Are there animals for you to hunt?" I ask Edward curiously.

He nods. "Enough to get by. But its been much too long since I've hunted."

I look at him fearfully.

He barks out a laugh. "Like I'd eat you."

"Well, then what did you mean?"

Edward smiles. "Don't worry."

We pull up to the house and the limo driver opens the door and lets us out.

Edward hands me a set of keys. "Go on inside. The kitchen is fully stocked. You can eat whatever you like."

"What are you going to do?"

"Just pay the driver for his time," Edward says smoothly.

I get a weird feeling in my stomach. "I don't want to go in alone."

Edward gives me a little push. "Don't worry, Isabella. No one is inside. Go on now."

I plant my feet. "No."

The driver is eyeing the two of us, obviously interested in the exchange.

Edward sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. "Must you always be so difficult?"

"I guess so," I answer.

"Then I recommend you close your eyes."

I can't even cry out to warn the man before Edward has hold of him. I watch in utter horror as Edward bites into the man's neck, draining his blood in minutes but it seems like forever. I can smell the coppery tang of it in the back of my mouth and before I know it I'm gagging and puking up what remains of the soda in the snow.

I hear a thud and just KNOW that sound was made by a body hitting the ground.

"I told you to go into the house," Edward says a few moments later. "Now I have to dispose of the evidence. Do you care to watch that as well?"

I shake my head and find that I'm crying. I stand up and stumble away toward the house, feeling more sickened than I've ever been in my life. It takes me five minutes to get the damn key into the lock to open the door. I run straight upstairs and find a bathroom. I lock myself inside and cry and cry, holding my knees close.

I wish so badly that I could wake up from this nightmare.


	18. Chapter 18

Author's Note: This short chapter is dedicated to the awesome BerryBlue96 who was the first to review the last chapter. She also suggested that I do a POV change to show how things are going back home. You know what? You got it.

Also so sorry for the long wait between updates – in the interim I started my own business and had a lot going on. =)

The Truth and the Consequences

Chapter 18

I watch the leeches' mansion burn with very little satisfaction. I would have thought that it would make me feel a tiny bit better but it doesn't. If Cullen was trapped inside – that might help.

My heart, what's left of it, is focused on one thing: _bring Bella home_. The rest of me is intent on finding that sparkly bastard and tearing him to pieces.

It nearly destroyed me when I found out that the leech had kidnapped her – I'd nearly killed members of my own Pack because I was so enraged that they'd let it happen. And to find out that he'd physically assaulted her – there are no words.

Sam had tried to calm me down but there was no way that was going to happen. I told him I didn't care if the whole pack died to get her back.

Sam and I fought. It got ugly because he wasn't going to step aside with me being so angry and hell bent on revenge. But it doesn't matter because I won my rightful place – and now I'm Alpha. And there isn't anything anyone can say to make it better. I will not rest until she is safe again.

Tonight we are going on a hunting expedition – I am going to find members of his coven and hopefully find a way to get some information out of them before they die (for good this time).

Suddenly, in the middle of planning this mission out in my head, I'm assaulted by the scent of strawberry shampoo causing me to gasp out loud. Inside, something shifts, holding back all of my anger and I feel weak and slightly dizzy. I drop to my knees and look up to see a smoky image of her, with her eyes wide and shocked, staring at me. I lunge forward but the image dissipates like smoke. I stare at my hands, my heart in my throat, and wonder what the hell I just saw. Was it actually her? Or have I completely lost my mind?

Leah – of all people – helps me to my feet.

"All right, boss man?"

I stand up straight and tall – shaking off my confusion. I feel nothing but grim determination. "I will be when they are all dead."

She smiles. "Me too. When are we leaving?"

"Right now," I say.

Everyone but Brady and Collin are coming with us. They are staying at home to watch over the tribe and to keep us informed of what's going on.

The Cullen's were out hunting as far as anyone knew – their cars had been left behind – everything but that damn Volvo. Their scent burned in my nose and I led the way through the dark woods – intent on my one purpose. I was going to do what my ancestors should have done in the first place.

There will be no survivors.

BPOV

I've never felt so small in all my life. Hunched here, against the cold white tiles, shivering, and waiting for whatever madness is to come is unbearable. Edward's out there digging a grave for that poor man – he'll never be found. He'll never go home to his wife again – see his children grow up. His death is on my hands. And the sick thing is that I know more people will die before this is all over.

People make mistakes all the time. Life affords the opportunity to make those mistakes – to learn from them – and to move on. But the mistakes I've made are too great. There will be dire consequences, for me and for those that I love. If I was the only one to suffer – that would be fitting. Instead I have to wait to find out who next will be hurt because of my selfishness.

I never should have gone to Italy to save Edward from himself. I should have let him go into the sun and then into the darkness forever where he belongs. But I didn't. I was far too worried about living with a guilty conscience. I couldn't let him kill himself under a mistaken assumption.

I replay the scene before I left to Italy in my head over and over – Jacob begging me to stay for Charlie and to stay for him. I would have made him so happy if I'd only known then what I know now. I'm sorry for failing you, Jacob.

I cry as silently as I'm able. I have to get out of here alive – for Jacob – for Charlie and for my mom. I need to get out of here for everyone I love. I need to learn how to lie – and fast. And I need to get it together to do that.

I pull myself upright and wipe my eyes on a pristine white towel hanging elegantly from a metal hoop in the wall. I don't have a lot of time. I unlace my shoe and dig out the stowaway cell phone. I text Jacob – each press of the button sounding like a shot ringing out in the silence.

_Barcelona. Then Helicopter. Over mountains 2 the East. Andorra. La Messana helipad. Como Pedrosa. 2 hrs. Love you w/ all I am. Bells._

I turn the phone back off without waiting for a reply. It's too risky and I know Edward will be fast. I stash the phone under the kitchen sink, beneath some towels. If he catches me with it – I know we will leave this place for somewhere else remote. At least I've given Jake an idea of where I am.

I hear a door shut from far away. I quickly turn on the water and splash my face a few times. Before I can reach for a towel Edward is handing one to me.

"Thanks," I mutter, forcing myself to be civil. It's all I can manage at this point.

He sighs. "Bella – I'm sorry for that scene out front. I apologize for subjecting you to that. I was out of my mind with thirst. You being so close for so many hours was torture. But I'm feeling better now – more in control. I won't let myself get to that state again. Can you ever forgive me?"

I want to vomit. His tongue is like a silver dagger edged with poison. How could I have ever fallen for that? I shake my head. "I don't really want to think about it."

He nods. "Of course. I won't bring it up again. Are you hungry?"

My stomach growls suddenly and I cringe. "I guess so."

His face lights up. "Why don't you accompany me to the kitchen? I made sure it was fully stocked."

"Ok," I begrudgingly agree.

I trail after him, glaring daggers at his back. We reach a beautifully appointed kitchen done in a light colored wood. Edward gestures toward the refrigerator and I open it. Most of the labels are in a language I don't understand but it's easy to see that there is milk, eggs, and cheese available. I pull them out and set them on the counter.

"I can cook for you if you'd like, Bella. I know it's been a long journey."

I shrug. "It doesn't matter. I just want to eat and go to bed."

Edward escorts me to a bar stool and I have to bite my cheek to keep from jumping away from his icy hands. He makes an omelet and pours me a glass of milk, serving me on expensive looking china.

"A paper plate would have been fine," I say sourly.

"Nothing but the best for my girl," Edward says softly, looking at me with what I used to think meant love.

I eat methodically until I can't bother chewing any longer. I finish my milk and feel nauseous.

"Where am I sleeping?" I ask him, feeling uncomfortable.

"You can choose whichever room you like."

I start to walk down the hall but come to a stop and breathe in deep. Although I'm frightened by what I now know is a very mentally disturbed vampire – I need some place where I can feel safe.

"Edward?"

"Yes, my love?" He hurries over to me and grabs my hands.

I shiver. "Um – I'd really like to have some privacy if that's okay."

He looks displeased. "If that's what you need – fine. I can understand that."

I remove my hands from his. "Goodnight."

It takes every bit of my willpower not to run from him. I quickly find a suitable room and shut the door behind me. I lock it before crossing to the bed and flopping down on my stomach. Tears squeeze out of my eyes until the pillow I'm lying on is wet. I turn it over and curl in on myself, feeling colder and more alone than ever before.

I wish that I was home with my wolf more than anything. I pray to whatever God will listen to keep my loved ones safe.

I fall into a fitful sleep, thinking only of Jacob.


	19. Chapter 19

Author's Note: This chapter is dedicated once again to our BerryBlue96 who was the first review for the last chapter! It's funny – I took a peek at my original outline for this story and it is completely different than what I'd intended for it to be – but I'm having a blast writing it. =) Thanks to all of you who reviewed and favorite the story. It always makes me smile when people read my work.

The Truth and the Consequences

Chapter 19

I stay in bed as long as possible. I don't want to face another day without Jacob. I lay still and breathe deep, wondering how many breaths I will take in my life.

"I know you're awake," Edward says softly.

I open my eyes and find him sitting in a chair facing me. It's disturbing. I never before thought about it but him watching me sleep is really creepy. Why didn't I ever think about that before?

"I thought you said you'd give me some privacy," I grumble, sitting up and shaking out my hair.

"I did. I left you alone while you cried yourself to sleep. You have no concept of how hard that was for me to hear," he responds in a chastising tone.

"Well you're the reason I'm crying in the first place."

He frowns. "You think that? Bella – you are responsible for your own fate. You have made decisions that have brought us to this place and time. You were the one who promised that you loved me – proved it by saving me in Italy and then couldn't forgive me for what I did in your best interest in the first place. I have jumped through flaming hoops for you. I have been willing to give you anything – everything that you could ever want or need or desire or wish for. I would kill for you – I would die for you. My love for you will not stop simply because you've gotten things confused. You've lost yourself, Bella Swan."

I throw back the covers and stand in front of him, shaking with anger. "I have FOUND myself. I have learned to use my brain and to stand up for what I believe in. You simply can't accept that I chose HIM!"

Edward flashes from the chair to my side in an instant. His hands grip my wrists. "Foolish girl. Do you even hear yourself? He has nothing to give you – nothing to offer. He is a high school drop out without a dime to his name. He's a freak of nature – an abnormality that should never have existed in the first place. He is a real monster, Bella. He has no control over himself or his inner nature. Do you know why he wants you? Do you have any clue? I've seen inside his head – I know the truth."

"Don't talk about him like that! Don't you dare! As for freaks I could say look who's talking!" I scream, losing all control. I want to kill him.

"You're so lovely when you're angry," he murmurs as he wraps his arms around me and forces our bodies together.

"Let go of me! I mean it!" I struggle uselessly against him, trying to wriggle my way out but I'm only managing to hurt myself.

"Stop fighting or I'll tranquilize you," he warns.

I glare at him. "I hate you. I wish you were dead."

He narrows his eyes. "Don't say that to me. It isn't in your best interest."

"I am telling you the truth. And I don't give a damn about the consequences. You sicken me. I wish I never knew you existed. You're a monster."

"If that's what you believe then you won't mind me acting the part!" he yells as he literally tosses me into the air like a ragdoll.

I hit the floor completely disoriented and gasp in surprise holding my injured wrist as it stings painfully. He reaches down and grabs me by the waist and forces me onto my stomach on the bed.

I try to crawl away from him but he pins me down. His hands slide beneath my hips and he wrenches my jeans down, pulling them off of me.

"Stop it! I won't let you do this! No! Edward stop!"

"Why should I stop? If I'm a monster?"

"Because you're hurting me! If you loved me you'd never do this!" I scream out in terror. I can't let this happen again. Not again. Never again.

In seconds he's off the bed and standing across the room.

I thank God and turn over gingerly pulling the sheet over the lower half of my body, and see him squatting down, his head in his hands. He looks up at me, tortured.

"Why do you do this to me, Bella?" He stares at me, beseechingly. "Why do you say such horrible things to me? What did I do to deserve this?"

I counter. "What did I ever do to deserve being raped? Edward there is something wrong with you. You're sick. You need help."

He stands up suddenly and I cower instinctively.

"That's it," he exclaims. "I understand it now. Bella – I'm not sick. _You are_."

My mouth drops open. "Excuse me?"

"Why didn't I see this before? I always knew you were fragile and needed to be protected but this makes perfect sense. That's why I can't read your thoughts – why you behave so irrationally. You constantly change your mind - often without good reasons. You exhibit risky behavior and you have suicidal tendencies. You have gone willingly to your death more than once. You've put yourself in the worst situations. You've never been able to see yourself clearly. It all makes sense now! You're highly functioning but you're not truly cognizant of everything around you. Now I know why you've done these things to me! Why you've said such awful lies and chosen so badly."

I have no response. I can only shake my head in wonder as he talks to himself, pacing in front of me.

"You've always been depressed. You were a loner when you first came to school – and you never truly fit in with the others because you aren't like them at all. I was so fascinated with you because you never said or did anything I remotely thought you would. I thought that unpredictability was charming. I had no idea what I was dealing with!"

"No. Edward – listen to yourself. You're grasping at straws. I'm just a normal teenager. I'm not sick. You're trying to kid yourself because you don't want to face the truth," I say quietly.

He stops pacing and smiles softly. "You're delusional, my love. But it's not your fault. I'm going to find the best health care professionals in the world to help straighten your mind out and in the meantime I can treat you myself. I am a doctor after all."

"Edward – really. Stop and think about this for a second. You can't just jump to a conclusion because it's convenient for you. I doubt your medical training would have you completely disregard the scientific method. You aren't thinking clearly. You're upset. I'm upset. We just need to take some time away from one another to calm down right now. Okay?"

"Ah. The tricks of a temptress. I won't be leaving you to do anything foolish, Isabella. I'm going to make sure that you have constant supervision. I'm going to help you and you're going to get better. And eventually all of this will have been a bad dream."

Before I can respond I hear his cell phone ring. He frowns and takes it out of his pocket.

"Alice?"

I sit still, trying to hear what her response is but I can't.

"Who cares if they burned the house? Your clothes are replaceable."

Clothes? Of all the things to be worried about!

"She's fine."

He glances at me and smiles. I glower back.

"So what? There's nothing holding us to Forks anymore."

I strain to hear what she's saying.

Suddenly Edward grins. "This is perfect. Lead them on a wild goose chase and when the time is right, lay an ambush. Just like we discussed. But remember my one request – if at all possible. When the time comes, I will be the one to do it. It's personal now."

My heart races. I know he's talking about the pack – what else could it be? Who else would they need to lay an ambush for?

I'm about to do something foolish when his next words stop me.

"We don't need Rose or Emmett anyway. You knew they would eventually leave. Besides – you'll have a new sister in Bella, just like you always wanted. Yes – I'll keep an eye on her. A phone you say?" Edward shoots me an accusatory look.

I wrap my arms around myself. I will never trust Alice again.

"Don't worry. The mutts don't have the resources to get here. If they turn back call me and let me know. We can relocate at a moment's notice."

I'm doomed. With Alice keeping tabs on the Pack and the Cullen's endless assets I'm totally screwed. There's only one way this will end now.

I'm so sorry, Jacob.

"Talk to you soon, Alice. Take care."

Edward slides the tiny phone back into his pocket.

"What's this about a cell phone?" Edward asks softly. "Where is it?"

I shrug, unwilling to answer.

Edward pinches the bridge of his nose. "Must you be so stubborn? I'll find it anyway."

"Go for it," I say, my chin out. I'll be damned if I help his ass.

"Take off the rest of your clothes," Edward says unexpectedly, gesturing toward my body.

"Go to hell," I hiss.

Edward doesn't give me another moment before his hands fly over me, faster than my eyes can even keep up. He's pulled me off the bed and undressed me in just a few seconds.

I cover my breasts and lower body as best I can.

Edward stares at me for a moment before scooping my clothes off the floor and leaving the room with them.

"Hey! I need those!" I call after him. I tug the sheet off the bed and wrap it around me.

A few moments later he returns, holding my cell phone. He crushes it to dust in his hand.

"If you want to wear clothes you'll need to earn them," he says. "Cooperate with me and everything will go much smoother. No more stealing other people's cell phones or trying to contact the outside world. You'll never see anyone from your old life again. Your new life with me starts now."


	20. Chapter 20

_Author's Note: Thank you to all my kickass reviewers! This chappie is for Twilightlover212 who was the first to review last chapter. Hope you guys like this one – as I really needed to show what was going on with Jacob. This is written entirely from his perspective. I know that I could make this a little more descriptive but I hate wallowing in minutia when the action is right around the corner. =) So you'll have to forgive me. Lol. Onward!_

The Truth and the Consequences

Chapter 20

My pack stops instantly when I give the command.

_What's up Chief? _

_My phone. I got a text from Bella. Or at least that's who I think sent it. I have a generalized idea of where she could be. I need to get out of the country immediately. But I'm not sure how I can do that. Any ideas?_

_You're not leaving us behind are you?_

Everyone else mumbles in agreement.

_If there's an opportunity that we can take advantage of I'd take all of you. But I need to get to her. I can't wait any longer than is necessary. That fucker is unhinged. _

_So what do we do boss man? _

_Fuck. I don't know. Do we keep following the bastards til we hit the North Pole or turn around? I don't like the idea of facing trained fighters without full strength. And it's possible that text came from that bastard – leading us on a wild goose chase halfway around the world. But if it came from her and I ignored it… I couldn't live with myself. I have to try. I have to turn back. _

_We're just going to let the rest of the leeches escape?_

Everyone jumps in with a cacophony of disagreement. My head is buzzing.

_Quiet! I'm not happy with this either. But our number one mission remains: bringing Bella home. If I fail… you know what the consequences would be. When one of us loses an imprint… we've all heard the legends. We turn back… unless anyone has an idea?_

_DANGER._

We all instantly shift into a crouched position. Leeches are approaching… two of them.

As much as I want to give the command to tear them apart, something is holding me back.

_Steady everyone. _

The blonde one speaks from only a half mile away. "We come in peace. We have broken with the Cullen's. We will not support our brother – not after what he has done."

The huge one holds up his hand. "We know where he's taken her – and we don't have a lot of time to get you to where you need to be. Jacob? We can get you on a plane if you come with us now."

As hard as it is for me to be vulnerable at this point I make the decision to phase human. "Give me one damn reason why I should believe anything you have to say. _You helped him."_

"Neither of us directly helped Edward kidnap Bella – in fact we didn't know it had happened until they were in the air. Alice informed us. It seems she was the one who helped poison your lookouts so Edward could sweep in and whisk her away. Alice is just as crazy as Edward – if not more so. She came from an asylum – you know that Jacob. And Rose tried to get Bella to leave – gave her the money and passport she needed to do so. Does that sound like someone who would turn around and help Edward to attain the exact OPPOSITE result? Think about it," Emmett snapped.

"This could all be a setup – every bit of it," I respond.

"Do you think we would seek you out – _all of you_ – alone? We may be fast and really strong but we're not that stupid. And the only way we can be telling you any of this at all is because we're now hidden from Alice because we're with you. She can't track us and she can't track you. Not as long as we stay together. But she will know something's up when she can't find us shortly. That's why we need to move this little party along."

"Why are you helping us? Other than the fact that suddenly you're not best friends with Eddie anymore?"

"If it were only up to me," Emmett said, "I wouldn't. Not that I don't like Bella. But Rose has a reason that even I can't argue against. You see – Rose came to this life because she was raped – by her fiancé and a group of men and left for dead. Carlisle found her before she died and turned her – but that was never something she wanted. Bella was outmatched and raped the same way – if not by several people – but in just as brutal a way. He could have killed her. That has made this personal. That's why we left our family – why we're helping you. This is the last time I'm going to ask you to leave with us. We need to go NOW."

Rosalie stares fiercely with her chin held high in defiance, challenging anyone to call her a liar. She's angry – that much I can tell. Whether it's because her horrible past has been leaked to us of all people, or whether it's directed to her former brother Edward I couldn't say. But I can tell she means business.

So do I.

I stand there breathing deep and make my decision. "Let's go then."

I phase wolf.

"Jacob – you need to know that Alice is planning an ambush on anyone that follows them. If you are able to get close enough you'll know that it's been set. I recommend not getting within striking distance. Carlisle won't want to fight but he will to protect Esme. Jasper will follow Alice's lead and is the most dangerous. You might have numbers but they have gifts," Emmett says quietly.

Before I go running off into the sunset with the two leeches, I give my pack instructions to follow. Knowing the Cullen's plans will be beneficial – yet I still don't trust that the information we've been given is completely accurate. But I don't have much of a choice at this point – I need to get to Bella. I'm going on alone with the blonde and the hulk. And if I'm betrayed – my pack has orders to follow and hunt down all of the Cullen's – one by one – until they're all dust.

I will reach her or I will die trying.

It's strange – running with vampires. As we cut through the forest, all the creatures still as if they know evil is passing by. The stench is awful, even with the wind whisking it away. I'm not sure how they're planning on getting me onto a plane – and its causing me a great deal of anxiety. But I can't phase human and ask questions now. Once we reach civilization I'll have a chance to grill them.

I think all of these things on the surface of my mind – shallow water that is see through. But deep beneath the surface, there is only one thing rooted right down into the core of my being, and it's pulsing with the beating of my heart. I can't lose her now – she is the entire reason for life – the only thing that is tethering me to sanity.

I've been so preoccupied with all the possible outcomes that I am jolted with surprise when we reach a highway. I can see we're on the edge of a town in British Columbia.

I reluctantly phase human. If they're going to kill me, now is their best shot, while I'm most vulnerable.

"There's an airport here," Rosalie says, tossing her hair behind one shoulder.

"How am I getting onto a plane?" I ask. "I don't have any other clothes with me, no shoes – I have no identification. What's your plan?"

"We're going to charter a plane ourselves. It's the easiest and fastest way. We'll pick you up some duds on the way," Emmett answers.

"You're coming with me," I say flatly.

"Unless you know how to pilot a plane?" Rosalie says haughtily. "Or maybe we could stuff you into a dog kennel and fly commercial – although I don't think they'd have one big enough."

I don't answer which is answer enough.

We make quick work getting into town. In no time I'm suited up and we're at the airport. It takes less than 30 minutes before we're climbing into a plane. The rich really can do whatever they want. Money talks.

Rosalie turns toward me. "I'm going to be piloting this craft – I don't want any distraction from you. Emmett will sit with me and we're going to close the door to the cockpit – no reason we have to suffer your stench any more than necessary."

I give her a cocky smile. "Well that suits me just fine. Any grub on board?"

Rosalie rolls her eyes. "Emmett," she whines.

He sighs. "There should be food on board in the back. And try not to go wolf in here, all right?"

"Sure, sure. Let's get going," I say, crossing my arms over my chest. This is taking too long.

They go into the cockpit and shut the door. I take in a deep breath of air and am pleased to note that their rotting floral garbage scent has dissipated somewhat.

"I'm on my way, Bells." I whisper, hoping she knows I'm coming for her. "Stay strong."


	21. Chapter 21

Author's Note: This is the beginning of the end of our story and is just a short chapter for now. A longer one will come in the next day or two. And this chapter is dedicated to Zayride – who was the first reviewer for the last chapter. =)

The Truth and the Consequences

Chapter 21

Edward drags me into the kitchen. "First you will take sustenance. Then we are going to take a walk – get some fresh air. It will do you good. After our walk we'll have a therapy session. You can talk about anything you want – but you will talk. It's not negotiable. Then we'll have another meal followed by a bath and quiet reading. I'm going to establish a schedule that you will need to keep."

I say nothing. I watch with unblinking eyes as he cooks a meal and places it in front of me.

He looks at me expectantly. "Well?"

"I'm not hungry," I say tonelessly.

"Well you're going to at least take a few bites. You need to take care of your body, despite your obvious depression. Now come on. Pick up your fork."

I shake my head. "No."

He puts his hands on his hips. "Who is in charge here, Bella?"

"The Devil," I say snarkily, staring right at him. I'm sure he has to get my meaning.

He rolls his eyes. "Enough games. Eat your lunch."

I sweep my hand and knock the plate to the floor with a crash.

"Very mature," Edward mutters. "So you're resorting to infancy."

I don't respond but watch with satisfaction as he quickly cleans the mess off the floor.

"Since you're not hungry, we will proceed with the next scheduled activity – walking. Follow me."

"No."

"You are trying my patience," Edward hisses.

I stare at him. "You don't own me. You can't tell me what to do. I promise you this – I will not cooperate with anything you want. In fact – you should rid yourself of me as soon as possible."

He smirks. "Bet you would just love that, wouldn't you? Travel back to Forks and your… filthy dog. I don't think so. And you might resist me but eventually you will obey. Because if you don't – I will force you. And trust me, little girl, that is not what you want."

I say nothing but leave the challenge in my eyes. I can see the tightness of his jaw. I'm getting to him. I am going to be the worst company he's ever had – and I will never stop reminding him of how much I hate him – and how much I love Jacob. Eventually he'll lose it and hopefully kill me. Because I know that I'd rather die than live as his prisoner.

Hours later Edward gets another call. I tiptoe out of my room and strain to hear him speaking into his cell.

"So you've killed them all – even Jacob? Excellent. Now that there isn't any competition, this process is going to go much smoother. Thank you, Alice. You're the best sister a guy could have. Take care."

The shock spreading through me is like lightning. I stagger and fall. He's gone then. Dead.

_Nothing matters anymore._

The next few days are like a living nightmare. Edward strapped me to a bed after I tried to slit one of my wrists with a razor and he is now forcing a feeding tube down my throat at regular intervals to make sure I'm getting enough nutrition.

Every time he comes into the room I beg him to let me die. The hurt in my heart is endless. I know nothing but pain.

Edward sits on the edge of my bed after my latest request. "Bella – you have to stop. Yes- Jacob is dead – but I'm right here. I love you – I never stopped loving you. And I'll never ever leave you. I cannot give you death – but I can give you everlasting life – if you wish it. You can live by my side always – strong, beautiful, young forever. That you used to be your dearest wish – do you remember? I'm willing to give this to you now. It will free you of your pain. You'll forget all about that mutt – I promise. That hurt you're feeling will melt away. What do you say?"

I would rather die a thousand deaths than live by his side forever. But being a vampire didn't mean eternal life. The Volturi could take immortality away. I would have a way out if I did this. And I would do anything to avenge Jacob, anything at all.

If becoming a vampire will allow me to kill Edward and his whole fucking cursed family, I will do it. I don't care how much it hurts to go through the transformation. I will not stop until they are all ashes. And when I finish my gruesome deed – I will join Jacob in the afterlife, if there is such a place.

I look at Edward. "Change me. Take this pain away from me. Please."

Edward smiles tenderly and kisses my forehead. "Yes, my love. I am only going to retrieve the supplies needed to make sure this is as comfortable for you as possible. Then we will begin our life together."

He leaves the room and I let the tears come again.

_I love you, Jacob. I will kill your murderers. I promise._


	22. Chapter 22

This chapter is dedicated to twilightlover212 who was the first reviewer for the last chapter! Yay! I really hope you all love this chapter because I had a blast writing it.

The Truth and the Consequences

Chapter 22

Despite my resolution to do what I need to do in order to avenge Jacob – I'm still terrified. I have been in a lot of pain before in my life due to my clumsiness and the people I've associated with – broken bones and scrapes and scratches. _But there is nothing like vampire venom_. Without question, I have never been in more pain than when James had taken a bite out of my hand. The burning sensation that had grown into an inferno was something nightmares are made out of.

I can't imagine feeling that all over my body for three whole days. But I have to do this. I won't let them get away with murdering my soul mate.

Edward returns, a happy smile on his face. He thinks that he's won. He frees me from the bonds that have held me to the bed so that he can make it more comfortable. I watch in silence as he sets up a morphine drip.

"This will hopefully make your transformation easier," Edward explains.

I nod, not believing that for a minute. He hands me a shapeless blue hospital type gown. I slip it over my nude body in relief. I've hated being naked in front of him. It's so dehumanizing.

He next places a tub of water and a stack of washcloths on the nightstand.

I'm not sure what they're for but I don't ask.

"Okay, my love. Just lie down and close your eyes," Edward instructs.

I shiver. My hair is standing on end. I am fighting against running from the room. I know what is coming and I'm really afraid.

And there is always the chance that he could accidentally kill me. There's a small part of me that would be happy if he did. Then I could be with Jacob sooner.

Trembling, I force myself to recline on the bed. I close my eyes, too scared to watch.

First he lifts my arm and I feel a cold liquid being rubbed on my hand. The scent of alcohol fills the room. Then I feel a stabbing, pinching sensation as he puts the needle in for the IV. He tapes it down.

"There," he says quietly, "that should help somewhat."

I don't respond, even though my heart is beating at a rabbit's pace.

I feel Edward's cold hands brushing my hair off of my shoulder.

"I love you, Bella," he murmurs in my ear.

I fight to not show my utter revulsion as he tilts my head to one side, exposing my neck.

It seems an eternity before I feel him move down. It happens like its slow motion, I can feel his breath on my skin, and then the slight pressure of his lips, and just the beginning of sharp teeth scraping against my flesh.

I squeeze my eyes shut, every muscle in my body tense as I wait for him to puncture my neck.

But he doesn't.

I open my eyes and he's moved away from the bed, his head cocked to the side.

"Edward?" I ask, confused.

He holds up his hand and then a look of absolute fury replaces his normally blank expression.

"Stay here," he barks out roughly before vanishing from the room.

I hastily sit up and yank the needle from my hand.

An irrational hope blooms in me – and a deep and driving need propels me forward faster than I've moved before. The front door is hanging wide open and I step outside into the cold.

What I see has my mouth hanging open. I let out a strangled sob as I run down the stairs.

_Jacob is alive. _

"Stay back, Bella!"

Emmett's booming voice fails to stop me – my eyes are glued on my reddish wolf – growling and snarling magnificently – snapping at Edward who is in a crouched position in front of him.

"For God's sake!" I hear Rosalie exclaim before the whirling blonde has her arms around me. She's dragging me backward toward the house.

"No! You stupid witch, let go!" I scream.

"I'm on your side moron. Who do you think brought Jacob here?"

"Please!" I beg her.

"Keep her out of this!" Edward yells over his shoulder, not looking at us.

Rosalie pauses and leans down to my ear. "If you stay here you might distract Jacob. He's going to need all the concentration he can get. Emmett and I are going to help him so he'll have a fighting chance. But YOU need to knock it off. Stay inside. Look out the window if you have to but be careful."

Rosalie shoves me inside and shuts the front door behind me.

I rush toward the large kitchen window that faces the yard and watch in horror as Jacob charges Edward.

Edward dances neatly out of the way but is hit in the side by Emmett who sends him flying. Rosalie charges Edward from the back but he dodges out of the way and shoves her toward Emmett.

The boom of their bodies colliding shakes the foundations of the house and sounds like thunder. I cringe.

Jacob is fast – faster than I would have imagined, and charges again, catching Edward's arm and tearing it off in his mouth.

"Yes!" I hiss happily, vindictively.

Edward turns back toward the house for the briefest moment, a look of disbelief on his face before Emmett manages to hit him from the left, throwing him off balance back toward Rosalie who tries to get her arms around his head.

Edward flashes out of her grip so fast I can barely keep up with who is where – and he hits Rosalie hard, sending her flying. She lands on top of the limo still parked outside, shattering the windows and cleaving the car nearly in half.

Emmett roars in fury and rushes Edward but Edward uses Emmett's speed against him, flipping him over his shoulder and twenty feet away with an ease that is scary.

Jacob circles Edward, growling.

I can see a feral smile on Edward's face as he speaks quietly to Jacob. I don't know what he's saying but I'm sure Edward is doing his best to unsettle Jacob into making a mistake.

"Don't believe him!" I cry out. "Kill him, Jacob!"

Jacob launches his body into the air, mouth wide open, and manages to knock Edward down. All I can see at this point is whirling bodies, flying snow, and the awful sounds of bones breaking.

My hands are against the glass, palms flat, and my heart is beating out of control. I'm terrified for my wolf – I can't lose him again. I just can't.

Emmett and Rosalie approach the main fight, each of them flanking Edward and attack at the same time. They move in unison, so beautifully, and just when I think they've gotten Edward down, he manages to twist and avoid Rosalie, using her body as a shield.

Emmett plows hard into Rose and she screams out in pain, flying several feet away and hitting a large tree, causing it to shudder and snap backward.

Emmett tries to go after Rose but Edward manages to catch his foot, twisting it and breaking it off. He chucks the hard foot at Jacob, who has his teeth embedded in Edward's thigh.

I hear my wolf yelp in pain and I can't stand it any longer. I have to do something. Even with the three of them fighting and Edward with only one hand, he's holding his own and causing serious damage.

He can read their minds and knows what they're going to do before they do it. The only person he can't read is me. I have to do something to distract him, something big.

I look down at my frail body, my pale arms, and see the blue veins running along beneath the skin. I run into the kitchen and tear through the drawers searching for a sharp blade. But I can't find anything! All the knives are gone, anything with a sharp edge has been taken from the kitchen – probably after my latest suicide attempt.

I run through the house, searching frantically for anything I can use and stumble into the room where the morphine drip is. The needle might as well have been surrounded by glowing light and angels singing because I've never seen anything so beautiful. I yank it from the tubing and run headlong out the front door.

In my absence, Edward has managed to incapacitate Emmett and Rosalie. Rose is lying at an awkward angle in the snow on her side, and Emmett is a few feet away from her, facedown.

The smell of blood permeates the air and I see that Edward has managed to tear a hole into Jacob's side. He's bleeding profusely but fighting like there's no tomorrow.

Edward keeps trying to get his good arm around Jacob's midsection while trying to avoid his gnashing teeth.

I pull up the fabric from the hospital gown and pierce the inside of my arm, dragging the sharp tip of the needle all the way through my skin to the wrist. A thin red line of blood appears, and little beads well up along the incision, growing fat before they slide down my skin and drip onto the porch. The needle bends but it doesn't break.

Edward turns his head, his eyes wild and rushes toward me, so fast I don't even have time to blink before he knocks me to the floor.

I shriek, expecting his teeth to tear into me but he's being pulled back away from me. I stare up in shock and watch as Jacob locks his jaws around Edward's neck and pulls hard, decapitating him.

To my utter horror, Edward's body continues to move, reaching toward me.

Jacob drags the torso away with his teeth, pulling it out into the yard. I watch as he gather's all the pieces of Edward and puts them into one pile. I watch, sickened as the pieces move.

Jacob phases human and runs over to Rosalie. He digs into her pocket and pulls out a small bottle and a lighter. He pours the liquid over what is left of Edward and then flicks the lighter open before dropping it.

Jacob jogs over to me and I run to him. He catches me around the waist and kisses me hard on the mouth. Our mouths meet again and again and I cry as we kiss, because he's really safe and he's really okay.

Jake stops a moment and looks at me seriously. "Honey, are you okay? I'm so sorry…"

"I love you so much!" I exclaim fiercely, wrapping my arms around him.

I hear him suck in a breath. I realize that his side is open and bleeding, and that my arm is still bleeding.

"I'm sorry!" I hastily exclaim, pulling back.

"No you don't," he says huskily, pulling me around to his other side, pulling me in and keeping me close.

We watch as the fire burns hot and bright, the most beautiful flickers of gold, orange, and blue before it burns itself out. Jacob checks to makes sure that no pieces were left unburned.

"Bells, I need to go check on Blondie and the Hulk. They did help me get here and helped me fight."

I nod. "Of course."

Before we reach Rosalie she turns over. "Emmett."

I hear him groan. "Rose – you okay?"

She sighs. "Nothing that time won't heal. You okay, baby?"

"I can't believe I couldn't take him down. The bastard!"

Jake walks over and helps Emmett to a sitting position.

"Thank you," Jacob says, his voice deep and serious. "For helping me save her."

Emmett looks up and grins. "Just a walk in the park."

I snort. "Right."

Emmett looks over at me. "Well you look like shit."

I scowl. "Look who's talking."

He holds up his hands in surrender. "True that. But Bella - you're bleeding all over and its uh, kind of uncomfortable. You might want to go take care of that."

I pull my arm in. "Sorry."

"I'm going to take her inside and get her cleaned up as long as you two are okay?" Jacob asks.

"Go, go. Get her out of here," Rosalie grumbles.

Jacob leads me into the house. "Bathroom?"

"This way," I pull him along to the nearest one.

Jacob helps me to clean and bandage my arm. I'm about to offer to do the same to him when I notice that his skin has knitted itself back together.

"That is so amazing," I breathe, staring at his side.

"You are what's amazing," Jacob murmurs, kissing me lightly on the lips. He stares down at me, his eyes intense.

"I love you so much, Jake. I don't know what the hell I'd do without you."

He kisses my forehead. "You will never, ever, have to find out. I am not going to let you out of my sight again."

It's only then that I think of his brothers. "Is everyone okay back home? I heard that they were ambushed – that everyone had died, including you."

Jacob snorts. "Like those leeches could take all of us out. No way, Bells. You have to have some confidence in us, and in me. I'm sorta the Alpha now."

I stare at him, surprised. "How'd that happen?"

"It's a long story. I can tell you on the way back. Why don't we get out of here? It reeks like _him_ in here."

"I'll go anywhere as long as I'm with you," I say softly.

Jake leads me outside.

Emmett and Rosalie are waiting, hand in hand. They look bad, but not like they'd looked before we'd gone in. I see that Emmett has both feet. I so don't want to know how that thing got reattached.

"Let's get a move on," Rose says.

"With pleasure," I say.

I never want to see this place again.


End file.
